


Right out of my Mind

by rexthranduil



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:14:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 42,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7223689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexthranduil/pseuds/rexthranduil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the team have relocated to Charles' estate, Shaw kidnaps Charles and tries to make him join the dark side. The others have to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

"Erik. I'm going to head into the town and collect Hank's supplies," Charles called after his friend as the older man walked down the corridor towards his room. "They're apparently important to his work on the Blackbird."

"Fine. But you could leave it until tomorrow," Erik replied, voice carrying enough for Charles to hear it. Charles smiled as he filtered out Erik's thoughts that the other man unintentionally projected:  _'but you won't because you're stubborn like that.'_

"They're important, and I'm not that stubborn, just practical my friend." Charles responded, adding quickly when Erik spun on his heel and glared at him. "And I didn't read your mind, I heard your thoughts; there's a difference."He smiled innocently when Erik rolled his eyes and entered his room, slamming the door rather loudly behind him. _'Oops.'_

Still smiling slightly Charles quietly made his way along the darkened corridors of his childhood home, castle really, not even having to consciously recall which way to go as he mentally reviewed what it was Hank needed. Truthfully he _could_ leave it till the morning but he felt restless and his mind too loud; too much going through everyone's minds. Although Charles didn't intend to read the minds of his newfound friends intentionally he could still hear them. It was as tiring as it was normal and Charles didn't even try and delude himself into thinking he was taking advantage of leaving the mansion for a little while simply so he could have some peace and quiet.

Exiting the mansion, Charles considered how he would make it into town; car, walking or cycling. Honestly, he didn't feel like walking all the way to town - and since he was going to collect what he expected to be several heavy items for Hank, Charles doubted it would be practical to walk - and cycling, while theoretically enjoyable, seemed just as unappealing in the early evening. Driving would be quicker, easier, and make transporting Hank's stuff considerably easier. Car it was then.

Entering the garage, Charles considered the cars parked inside; skirting around the flashier models that were stored in the garage, heading for his favourite. The Jaguar Mark II, racing green, was one of the only cars Charles truly enjoyed driving, its speed and handling making it an absolute joy. Starting the engine, he listened to the engine roaring with all the veracity of an energetic volcano and he grinned, a young boy again reliving the first time he'd ever sat inside the car with his father pointing out what _not_ to touch – namely the clutch, the gears, the pedals and the steering wheel. A nostalgic look on his face, Charles pulled out of the garage, driving down the gravel driveway and through the iron gates at the edge of the property, gradually gaining speed as he drove down the quiet country road in the direction of the small town about two miles drive away.

He'd never reach the town.

 

* * *

 

So the telepath hadn't been there with the little kiddies - a shame - and now he didn't have his own anymore - an unfortunate result. Sebastian's lip curled as he stared darkly at the wall opposite him. That wouldn't do. His dear Emma wasn't anywhere he could easily reach - indeed he had no idea where exactly she was - but he knew where another telepath was. A powerful one as well, judging by the fact that he and little Erik had managed to best his dear White Queen. Such an individual was worth meeting in Sebastian's opinion. Meeting and perhaps training.

 

* * *

 

The sound of the wind in the trees, the revving of the engine and the briskness of the air as it swept through the window relaxed Charles more than he would ever admit. It was peaceful, quiet and completely different compared to the chaos of the mansion. Since the whole disaster that had been the CIA's base everyone had been feeling tense, and he could see how, even with the short reprieve from the tension, everyone was becoming more and more worried, afraid, scared, terrified. It was heartbreaking for him to feel it all from them all the time but he couldn't shut himself from them, couldn't stop the thinking and the feeling and the knowing, because he had to know if they had any doubts, if they had any fears over their powers, if they had any issues with trust or esteem that could cause their premature deaths.

But sometimes even he needed a little peace. Didn't everybody after all?

He glanced at the speedometer and realised he was driving faster than was strictly allowed on a country road, but he found himself uncaring because he needed the speed, he needed the hear the sound of the wind in the trees – so different from the whispers in his mind. And it was because of the split-second interval between his eyes being on the speedometer and then moving back up to focus on the road that he missed the fast-moving creature streaking across the road. He started and instinctively turned the wheel, pressing on the brake-pedal as the car screeched and turned 180 before coming to a stop.

His heart beating loudly in his chest, his mind suddenly alert and more active than it had been in days, Charles blinked profusely and looked about himself trying to search out what he'd almost hit. He couldn't find anything. It was like there hadn't been anything there in the first place. His telepathic abilities reasserting themselves fully Charles slowly turned off the engine and climbed out of the car, expanding his telepathic field as he did so. He took a few steps away from the open door of his car and peered into the dark trees that lined the road.

There was sudden _"crack"_  behind him and he whipped about, his eyes wide and his heart drumming in his chest. Another _"crack"_ in the trees behind him had him spinning about again.

Swallowing thickly around the sliver of unease curling in his gut, Charles called out, voice as even as he could get it. "Whoever you are, you have no need to hide from me."

A part of his mind was screaming at him to calmly get back in the car and get the hell back to the castle, but another part was telling him not to just in case this unknown creature was threat. Of course, if it _was_ a threat, then he was going to have a lot of trouble dealing with it on his own wasn't he?

Another _"crack"_  directly behind him caused him to start to turn but before he managed to get a look at whatever it was, before he even focused his mind, a hand shot out and hit him square in the jaw with enough force to knock him to the ground. Hard.

He landed heavily on the tarmac ground, his head colliding painfully with the road, and he curled up instinctively into a ball. He began to feel the fuzzy pull of unconsciousness and the last thing Charles could clearly remember was the feel of something grabbing hold of him before it all went black.

 

* * *

 

Awareness came to him slowly. It was like the dripping of a tap into a plugged sink. Eventually there were enough drips to constitute a layer of water deep enough to place a pound coin in.

Groaning quietly Charles sluggishly opened his eyes only to snap them shut again as bright lights blinded him. He turned his head to the side, away from the lights overhead, and tried again. Slowly opening his eyes until he could handle the light enough. His vision was blurred and he blinked to try and clear it up. It didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would.

"Sorry about the headache. Azazel sometimes forgets his strength I think." A voice rang out loudly, far too loudly, around him and he groaned again. It took him a few moments to realise that he recognised the voice, it was the same voice he'd heard in Erik's memories when he'd dragged him from the water all those weeks ago.

Adrenalin suddenly flooded his system and Charles' head snapped around to pierce Sebastian Shaw with a surprised, angered and determined stare. He was momentarily confused about the strange helmet on the man's head until he tried to read his mind. Charles blinked and his eyes widened in surprise and fear as Shaw's face broke out into a smile. "You're quick aren't you? Caught onto the fact you can't get into my head fast."

Charles didn't speak as he stared at the man, the monster, that had caused Erik so much harm in the past. He tried to reach out for something before he realised he was restrained. And lying down on a metal slab. His suit-jacket and shirt were missing and from the cold air hitting the bottom of his feet he realised his socks and shoes were gone too.

"Don't strain yourself. Those things are strong enough to restrain a juggernaut." Shaw said as he moved closer to the bound Charles, that strange and sinister smile still present on his face. "You're Charles Xavier right?" The question was obviously rhetorical as Shaw continued. "You obviously know who I am don't you? Sebastian Shaw, though I used to go as Schmit but that was another time." His eyes grew darker, more shadowed and evil for a moment before he continued. "You know I wanted you to have been at the CIA base when I went to visit your kiddies."

"Leave them out of this." Charles said as anger ran through his system suddenly, a protective type of anger. Shaw had threatened them, killed Darwin and he could have killed the others.

"If they don't get in my way then I will." Shaw replied arching an eyebrow as Charles struggled with the restraints. "Right now, my interest is with you Charlie-boy."

Charles stopped struggling as he stared at Shaw. With that damned helmet on he couldn't tell what the madman was thinking so he had to ask. "What do you mean?"

"I'm short a telepath." Shaw replied simply. "You're a telepath. And you're a damn-sight stronger than my dear Emma too."

"I'll never help you destroy the world." Charles snarled, as he resumed struggling against the restraints. He would not help this madman destroy the world. He would die first.

"Oh you will. Once you're trained." Shaw countered as he reached out and placed a hand on Charles' exposed shoulder. "You will." He added darkly as his palm began to heat up exponentially.

Charles gritted his teeth and tried to shrug off Shaw's hand but the man gripped it harder and delivered a sudden burst of raw energy into his system that caused him to writhe on the table. He bit off a choked cry of agony and screwed his eyes shut, his mind running at a thousand miles an hour but thinking only of the pain in his shoulder, his entire body.

He snapped his eyes open suddenly when Shaw removed his hand and the pain abruptly vanished. Breathing hard, sweat beading on his forehead, Charles sent out a psychic call, hoping his friend would hear him. _'Erik... help me...'_

 

* * *

 

Erik bolted upright in his bed, breathing heavily and staring into the semi-darkness. He blinked a couple of times and suddenly noticed that all the metal objects in the room were floating and moving about; a physical response to his emotions. He replaced the objects back in their normal places and ran a hand through his hair. He was covered in a sheen of cold sweat and he couldn't help but shiver as the temperature of the room suddenly became aware to him.

Slipping out of bed he made his way over to the little en suite and turned on the light with his powers as he moved over to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. He stared at his face in the mirror, studying the pale skin, the wide eyes and the sheer emotions swirling about in them. "It was a dream." He whispered. "It was _just_ a dream." He repeated more strongly as he reached for a towel and dried his face. "Just a dream. Charles is fine."

' _I hope.'_

 

* * *

 

"You're still fighting me." Shaw said sounding disappointed. "I'd hoped you'd have learnt by now Charlie-boy. You _can't_ fight me." Shaw dug his hand into Charles' chest sharply and Charles arched his back as he silently cried out in agony. "I can do this _all day_. Can you?"

No. No he couldn't. But he wasn't going to give in. He wasn't going to help Shaw destroy the world. He'd die first. Charles gasped painfully as Shaw suddenly, vindictively, pulled his hand out of his chest again. He blinked tears of pain out of his eyes and stared at Shaw.

"Well. Can you?" Shaw asked as he pointedly rested his hand on Charles' chest again, relishing in the knowledge that the telepath tensed at the contact.

"I _won't_ join you." Charles bit out as he clenched his hands into tight fists, the restraints too tight for him to do much more. "No matter what you do to me."

Shaw was silent for a long moment as he stared at Charles and Charles stared back. Then, suddenly, Shaw stood up and Charles couldn't help but flinch at the movement. Shaw turned to look at the door and nodded curtly. A loud _"crack!"_ filled the room as Azazel teleported into the room holding a young child in his arms. Azazel promptly placed the child on another metal table and teleported back out before Charles could even hope to control his mind.

"You know what I forgot to do with you Charlie-boy?" Shaw asked, his voice light and easy. "I forgot to see what the limits of your powers were. I like to know the limits of my associates abilities so I'm going to give you until I get to three to make this speak an unfamiliar language or I'll crush the life out of her precious little body."

Charles' eyes widened in shock. "Are you insane! She's a child!" He shouted as he began to struggle desperately against the ties that bound him. "You can't kill her!"

"Yes I can." Shaw said firmly as he gripped the small child's head in his hands. "It's pretty easy too. Messy though." He stared directly at the horrified Charles. "But you could save her Charlie-boy. All you have to do is teach her a new language. You do that and she lives." He smiled. "Come on... it's not like I'm asking you to do anything big is it?"

Charles stared desperately at Shaw, hoping, praying, the madman wouldn't hurt the girl. He couldn't use his powers now, if he did then Shaw would use this moment, manipulate it until Charles couldn't argue, couldn't fight anymore. But if he didn't use his powers that small child, that young girl with such a future ahead of her, wouldn't have a future anymore.

"One." Shaw said, pulling Charles away from his internal dilemma.

Charles strained against the restraints wildly as he fought to find a way to stop Shaw from hurting the child without using his powers. But he couldn't find a way.

"Two. Come on Charlie-boy. Save her. It's easy." Shaw said, his voice low and seductively convincing.

He couldn't use his power. But he couldn't let her die.

"Three."

"Eins, zwei, drei." The little girl said suddenly just as Shaw began to power his hands. He paused and looked down at the child who stared up at him. "Bitte, Herr, tu mir nicht weh."

Shaw looked up at Charles and said. "German? Really?"

He smirked at the young telepath who caustically replied. "I thought it fitting."

Shaw laughed and he looked down at the child again. "Ich werde nicht meine Liebe. Ich helfe Ihnen aber schlafen."

Charles didn't have to be able to speak German to know what Shaw was planning from the look in the madman's eyes.

"No!" He cried as Shaw viciously overloaded the child's head with raw energy, more than enough to disintegrate her brain. He dropped the lifeless form back on the table and looked at Charles. "You bastard! She was just a child!"

"She was inferior!" Shaw replied moving over towards the young telepath who was too angered to flinch at his proximity. "She is nothing!"

"She was a human being!" Charles almost roared as he leant up as far as he could. "She had a family! Friends! A future! And you took it from her!" He wanted to scream. He wanted to cause Shaw so much pain but that damned helmet was stopping him.

One of Shaw's hands shot out and collided with Charles' face with enough force to knock him back down against the metal table. Instantly, Shaw's hand was wrapped around Charles' throat and he squeezed tightly as Charles glared at him. "She was nothing. She is not worth anything because she was not a God amongst mortals. She was mortal. You are a God trying to be a man."

Charles wanted to reply. He wanted to answer but he couldn't breathe, Shaw was choking him. He blinked and tried to focus his mind. He tried to focus it on anything and the only thing he could focus on was Shaw's hand choking him. He was so angry but so afraid. He was hurt but also worried. He was terrified for humanity and himself.

The sound of instruments in the room shaking caught Shaw's attention and his grips on Charles' throat lessened slightly. Shaw looked around and noticed that the objects in the room were all vibrating slightly. _'Looks like this telepath is more than a telepath afterall.'_

Charles focused everything he had in him on throwing Shaw across the room with enough force to kill a man. He was so focused that when Shaw's hand suddenly disappeared from around his throat he didn't even notice until there was a loud crash from the other end of the room. He blinked suddenly and began coughing as his lungs took in oxygen-rich air. He looked over to where the crash had emanated from and was amazed to see Shaw lying on the floor unconscious.

' _I moved him with my mind...'_ Charles stared in shock at the madman. _'I'm not telekinetic. I'm a telepath... I shouldn't have been able to do that. How did I do that?'_

Shaw was unconscious for only a few minutes and when he came to he realised that this telepath would be very useful to him if only he could get him on his side. Dragging himself to his feet Shaw looked at the young telepath and smiled. "Well. That's what I call progress Charlie-boy."

 

* * *

 

Erik walked through one of the many corridors of the castle Charles owned looking for his friend. He'd already searched the kitchens, the towers, his friends private room and study, and most of the first floor and he couldn't find him anywhere. He growled in frustration and worry as he made his way to the staircase and down to the first floor. He stopped for a moment in the lobby and tried to think back to the last time he'd seen Charles. It had been last night when he'd been heading to bed and Charles had informed him that he was going to collect some of Hank's supplies from the town nearby. _'Hank. Of course!'_

Smirking Erik quickly set off for the underground bunker where he knew Hank would be tinkering away with some deadly piece of technology. He quickly found the young mutant muttering to himself as he searched through a pile of component pieces.

"Hey Hank." Erik said and he suppressed a smile as the young man jumped and spun around to stare at him.

"Uh hey Erik." Hank replied as he calmed down. "What brings you down here?"

"I was wondering if you'd seen Charles around." Erik asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it but his insides were writhing about in discomfort.

"Uh. No sorry. He did say he'd collect my supplies for me yesterday but I guess he hasn't got around it yet." Hank answered scratching his neck and he paused as Erik's complexion drained of colour. "What is it?"

"He went to get your supplies last night Hank." Erik said simply as he turned and hurried out of the room. Hank scrambled after him and the pair of them made their way up to the main study room where most of the others were relaxing.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Raven, aka Mystique, asked as they entered the room. "What's wrong?" She asked after looking closely at the pair of them. "What is it?"

"Have any of you seen Charles?" Erik asked again, trying to sound calmer than he actually was. 'This can't be happening. It's not possible. No way.'

"No. Why? What is it Erik?" Raven asked as she stood up. She moved over to look closely at Erik's face. "Is he alright?" Charles was her brother, she couldn't bear the idea that he was in danger, or hurt.

"He's missing. Has been since last night." Hank answered when it looked like Erik wouldn't. "He went to collect the supplies I ordered last night and he has hasn't been seen since."

 

* * *

 

 

Erik moved swiftly down the corridors of the castle, intent, purpose, and coiled anger forming an almost palpable wave around him. The others followed behind him at a slower, more wary, pace. His hands were clenched so tightly that he could feel his short finger nails digging painfully into the flesh of his palm, but he didn't care. Charles was missing. They had a war to fight. Charles was missing. They didn't know what Shaw was planning. Charles was _missing_ and-

Oh.

He stopped abruptly and the others froze, worried that the older man was about to go nuclear. Erik for the most part didn't acknowledge their existence his mind was whirling about insanely fast. _'Charles is missing... we're looking for Shaw... Frost was Shaw's telepath... Charles is mine... but Charles is missing and.._ _._ _verdammt noch mal_ _!'_

"Shaw has Charles." He said to himself, not realising he'd said it aloud until Raven grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face her.

"What? How do you know that?" She asked, fear, worry and concern for her brother coming off her in waves. Charles couldn't be in Shaw's hands. He couldn't be. _'Oh God Charles...'_

"We took his telepath." Erik said not looking her in the eyes. "So he's took ours."

There was silence in the corridor for a long moment, none of the able to speak as they each thought over the idea of Charles, their teacher, their leader, their friend, being in the hands of the enemy. It was... too horrid to bare thinking about.

"We'll find him." Hank said firmly as he stepped forward so he was next to Raven. "We'll find him and Shaw." Erik looked at the young man standing next to Raven.

"Damn right we will." Alex added as he too stepped up next to Hank and Raven, Sean stood next to him and nodded.

"No-one steals our Professor X." Sean said as the four of them stood before Erik, ready to fight and defend not only themselves and the world but also their leader who was missing in action.

Erik stared at the four of them in surprise and he felt proud of them. They were willing to risk their lives, their very existence for a friend. They were the better men already. And girl, obviously. He nodded to them once, solemn and calmly focused.

"Hank. You might want to step up the suit designs, we're going to be needing them soon." He ordered and Hank nodded. "And check to see if there's any way you could locate Charles. I don't want to wait for Shaw to come to us on this."

"Already on it." Hank replied with a firm nod before he took off down the corridor towards the underground bunker.

"Alex. Sean. Work on your hand-to-hand and controlling your powers; you two will be working together as a team when we find Charles." The two young boys nodded at Erik's orders before turning and hurrying down the corridor in the direction of the danger-room.

"Raven." Erik started before stopping and looking at the young girl. "Let's work on your reflexes. God knows we'll need them soon."

 

* * *

 

"Come on Charlie-boy. All you have to do is make him kill his comrade and I'll let the other live." Shaw said, his voice pitched at the right tone to make him sound sympathetic. It had been almost an entire day since he'd taken Charles and the young telepath was struggling to fight against the madman's words and actions. The amount of pain he'd felt in such a short time made his head pound and his body ache, but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt everytime he gave in to Shaw.

"You'll kill them anyway." Charles bit out as he slumped down against the metal table. He wanted desperately to throw Shaw again but he found he couldn't. It was like the act of throwing Shaw across the room had drained the battery for his telekinesis dry. It was frustrating to say the least.

"No." Shaw countered as he ran a gloved hand along Charles' sweat-covered brow. "I'll do to them everything I've done to you only I won't put the parts back in again." Shaw smiled darkly as Charles looked at the man towering over him.

After his little exploit with telekinesis Shaw had tried to make Charles do it again by removing his lungs, one at a time, and putting them back in just before he died from lack of oxygen. He'd done the same with his liver, his stomach, his intestines and had even messed about with his heart. But Charles couldn't do it again, he didn't know how he'd done it in the first place!

"Don't." Charles whispered, begged, as Shaw stared down at him with that smile still adorning his features. "Please. They don't deserve that." He stared into the dark, hollowed and manic eyes of the man still stroking his brow.

"Maybe." Shaw conceded. "But they certainly don't deserve to live." He added and his smile widened as Charles' eyes clearly showed his panic. "I told you. They're inferior Charlie-boy. It doesn't matter what I do to them."

"They have families. They have a chance for a life of peace." Charles tried to argue, desperately searching Shaw's face for something, _anything_. There was nothing but evil in Shaw's face and Charles was certain it was a reflection of what was in the madman's mind.

"So did I once. So did you. So did every mutant that's been persecuted by the pathetically inferior Homo Sapiens." Shaw snarled suddenly, his gentle touch turning brutal as he gripped Charles' chin in an iron-tight grip. "They are nothing because they cannot do what we can. They cannot move things with their minds. They cannot make a person see something that isn't there. They cannot do the things we can and for that they are weak. Why won't you just accept that you will always be better than them?"

Charles glared up in to the angered face of Sebastian Shaw and answered, his words biting and sharp. "Because I refuse to lower myself to the level of a Nazi. Or you."

Shaw grinned darkly, savagely, and looked up at the two men watching them in terror from the other side of the room. "The Nazi's went after their own kind Charlie-boy. _I_ go after that which I know is weak."

Shaw lifted his free hand and pointed it at the two men as Charles was forced to watch, unable to move his head in Shaw's tight grip. "And I destroy it before it destroys me."

"No!" Charles shouted as the two men were thrown backwards by a vicious burst of energy from Shaw's outstretched hand. They collided with the wall with enough force to snap their necks and Charles knew before they even hit the floor that they were dead. Their minds, every thought and memory, dream and aspiration was cut off so savagely that Charles howled in pain. It felt like _he_ was the one who had died.

Shaw looked down at the young telepath whose eyes were screwed shut and his face was contorted in agony. Leaning down so his mouth was level with Charles ear, Shaw whispered. "I'm doing this for _you_ Charles... I don't want to see you suffer at their hand. Not like I did. Or Erik."

Charles felt his awareness slipping away in to darkness and the last thing he heard was Shaw's voice, sounding like it was coming from afar, saying. "I'm doing this for you Charles."

 

* * *

 

"Erik!" Raven's voice drew him out of his reverie as he stared forlornly at the chessboard before him. His head snapped up to focus on Raven who had stuck her head through the door. "You need to see this!"

Erik didn't need telling twice and he bolted out of his seat, hurrying towards the door. "What is it?" He asked as they walked down the corridor towards the main study.

"The President's speech." Raven answered in a rush as they entered the main study to see the others gathered around the television set which was depicting images of Russian ships. "He says the Russians are heading towards Cuba."

Erik didn't speak as he moved to see the television screen and listened closely to the President's address. He didn't understand the significance of the issue but he knew that that was where they'd find Shaw. No way would the madman leave anything to chance with his plan of destroying the world on the line. Literally.

"That's where we'll find Shaw. And Charles." Erik said quietly as he stared at the now black television screen, he'd shorted it out and he knew that Charles wouldn't be happy when he told him.

"How can you be so sure?" Alex asked as he stared at the older man.

"He won't leave anything to chance with this." Erik answered simply as he rose. "I suggest you all get a good nights' sleep, we're moving out tomorrow." _'To Charles.'_

 

* * *

 

"What happened here?" Erik asked aloud as he made his way through the mess in Hank's 'lab' over to the trunk where their suits were.

"It looks like a bunch of monkeys were let loose in here." Alex noted as he followed after Erik.

"Doesn't matter. Let's just suit-up." Raven said as she stepped up beside Erik and looked down at the trunk which the older man opened.

"You've got to be kidding me." Erik said as he stared down at the suits.

 

* * *

 

"We're almost in position Shaw." Azazel said as he poked his head through the door. Shaw nodded to him and returned his focus to the still unconscious telepath at his mercy.

"Have the nuclear reactor ready for me." Shaw said as an afterthought as he stroked a lock of hair off Charles' face. The telepath was incredibly young for such a gift. The amount of power the young man had was surprising. It reminded him of Erik. No surprise the two became friends. _'Two peas in a pod.'_ Shaw observed. _'And that means this one will turn as well. He just needs time.'_

 

* * *

 

"Hank?" Raven called as the four of them stood and watched the outline of their resident scientist grew more defined.

"The cure didn't work how I expected it to. Instead of deactivating the genes, it amplified them." Hank's voice rang out in the quiet air hanger, his voice deeper than they were used to. He stepped into the light and they all blinked. He was. Blue.

"You look fine Hank." Raven said as she stepped forward and took his blue, furred and clawed hand in her own. "Mutant and proud." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"You look great mate." Erik said with a smile as he clapped the young mutant on his arm. Instantly Hank's arm shot out and his hand wrapped itself around Erik's throat, lifting him off the ground.

"Don't mock me." Hank growled darkly as he glared at Erik who, for the most part, could only blink and choke.

"I wasn't." Erik managed to choke out but Hank tightened his grip and he started to feel dizzy.

"Hank!" Raven exclaimed. "Put him down Hank!"

"Hank!" She exclaimed one last time and Hank suddenly let go of Erik, who landed in a slump on the floor, breathing in oxygen.

"I think I've got your name dude." Alex said smirking and Hank looked at him. "You're badass man. So you're Beast."

Hank growled in agreement at the nickname and Erik looked up at the young mutant. "Sorry." Hank muttered to the scowling man looking up at him.

"Doesn't matter. Let's go." Raven said and Erik threw a dirty look at her. _'Bet she wouldn't think that if she'd been the one getting choked.'_

 

 

 

* * *

 

"We are currently two hours flight time away from Cuba." Hank's voice rang out in the silent Blackbird. They had all been quiet and tense whilst in the air, each of them trying to remain calm in time for the upcoming battle. None of them looked at each other, choosing instead to look at their hands or the floor.

Raven stared at her hands, watching the ripples of nervousness and worry disfiguring her skin colour causing it to constantly switch between blue, black, brown, white and anything in between. She was so worried, so scared that she couldn't think beyond _'Oh God. Charles.'_ and _'We're going to die before we save him... oh God.'_

Alex stared at the floor, hunched over as best he could with the shoulder straps of the seat keeping him in position. He was worried, not for himself, but for everyone else. He'd been in prison before this and he knew how to handle himself in such an environment, knew how to handle the stress and the threats on your life, the danger. But the others, most of them at least, they didn't. So they were all mutants, yeah, but they'd had entirely different lives. Done entirely different things and he knew Sean, Raven and Hank didn't have the experience to pull this off without something going wrong. He just hoped that they had enough luck to survive this. _'I'm not the type that prays for a Hail Mary but right now... damn it we sure could use one.'_

Sean stared at the empty seat opposite him, not really seeing it but taking in the contours of it as he thought over the last few weeks of his life. As he thought over where the next several hours of his life would take him. He was scared and he wasn't afraid to admit it. He was scared for himself because he'd been trained to use his voice, he'd been trained to fight with his body and his power together as one, but he hadn't been taught how to deal with this. The waiting. The tense waiting as they flew closer and closer to fate. How could he have been taught how to deal with this though? He'd never experienced anything quite like this. Not once and it scared him more than the prospect of his power failing him whilst he was flying. It scared him more than dying. What was the point in winning when you can't handle the stress?

Hank for the most part tried to focus his mind on the task of flying the Blackbird but the problem with that was that she was mostly automated. All he had to do was turn the controls here and there, check the radar and the like. It didn't require as much of his concentration as building her had been. Which was why he was thinking over the possible outcomes. What happened if they didn't get there in time? What if they couldn't stop the Russians? What if they couldn't stop Shaw? What if Shaw turned the professor? What if? What if? He was starting to hate those words.

Erik stared at nothing and saw nothing. For the last hour of their flight he had almost become a ghost he was so silent and removed from the rest of them. Not only in years but also in experience. Everything that he'd ever experienced. Everything that he'd ever done. Everything that he'd ever failed to do in his life had built up to this. This moment. He was going to kill Shaw. He was always going to do that but now, now, he was going to cause Shaw as much pain as mutantly possible after he saved his friend. _'You took my mother from me Shaw... I won't let you take my friend.'_

In the tense silence of the Blackbird Raven finally looked away from her hands and fixed her gaze on Erik. "Erik." She called softly, her voice low but more than loud enough to catch everyone's attention. "Erik?" Upon calling his name the second time Erik started and looked up at Raven opposite him.

"What Raven?" He asked, his voice quiet and uncharacteristically raw, emotional.

"Why don't you try and rest? We've got two hours, that's enough time for you to have a decent nap." Raven suggested quietly. "I know you didn't sleep last night." She added as she thought back to the sounds of metal bending and grinding in the gym throughout the night – she'd only heard it once before after the older man had had a nightmare and Charles had soothed his mind.

Erik stared at Raven for a long moment, his face unintelligible and, just when she thought he would ignore her suggestion, he smiled at her tiredly and nodded. "Wake me when we're thirty minutes out." He instructed, making sure he voice would carry to the others in the Blackbird. "I want to look somewhat awake when we find Shaw." He added, trying to lighten the mood and the others smiled slightly.

 

* * *

 

Charles wasn't unconscious per say, well he was but it wasn't the usual type of unconsciousness where one remembered nothing. This was like dreaming but far more coherent. Standing in the midst of an empty desert, wind blowing up sand that turned to rose petals, Charles looked around himself in surprise. Where was he? What was this place and _why on earth_ was there a floating towel twenty feet above his head?

"Hello?" He called out, surprised when there was no echo, no anything really. He was thoroughly confused and nearly jumped a mile when a sudden crack of thunder sounded around him. "What on earth?"

He reached out with his mind, trying to find out where he was, and was even more surprised and confused when he found that he was inside his _own_ mind; the feeling of his own thoughts distinctly different to the thoughts of those whose minds he'd entered in the past. "My God." He breathed out. "I'm on an astral plane of some sort."

He couldn't help it. He laughed in surprise. "Amazing." He breathed out. "I had _no idea_ I could do this." It seemed like today was a learning curve of sorts. Looking about himself Charles wondered if he could do more than exist on the plan. Smiling, his eyes sparking with excitement, he reached out a hand and tried to focus on creating something out of the sand on the ground.

It was easier than he expected it to be.

A large X made of sand floated three feet off the ground in front of him and he grinned widely, laughing in sheer exhilaration. "Fantastic!"

It took him a couple of minutes for him to realise that whilst he was playing around the real world was at risk of being destroyed by Shaw. He needed to get in touch with the others but he didn't know how. He couldn't talk to them whilst awake, not with Shaw always shaking hands with his internal organs, but maybe... just maybe he could talk to them now. If they were sleeping. God he hoped one of them was.

Shutting his eyes and placing two fingers on his temple, a familiar and grounding gesture that Raven had often made fun of when they were younger, Charles focused his mind on trying to communicate with one of the others. He tried Hank and Raven first but found that they were conscious, the same with Alex and Sean but Erik was a different story.

His friend wasn't asleep per say but he was dozing, half between being awake and asleep, and Charles took the opportunity presented to pull Erik's mind into his own.

 

* * *

 

Erik spun around, instantly alert for any danger, his mind confused and buzzing with activity as he tried to figure out where the hell he was.

"Bloody brilliant!" A distinctly British voice rang out behind him and Erik spun around in shock, turning to look at a smiling Charles Xavier. Who was currently missing his shirt and shoes.

"Charles." Erik breathed out in surprise. "Where-" He looked around them and Charles laughed as he moved closer to his friend.

"We're on some sort of astral plane inside my mind Erik." Charles explained as he stepped up in front of his friend grinning like a school boy. "Amazing isn't it?" He asked and he laughed again when Erik nodded dumbly still looking around them.

It took Erik a couple of seconds to get his awe, surprise and sheer exhilaration under control enough for him to turn to Charles and study his friend. "Charles. Where are you really?" He asked and he watched as a dozen thoughts and feelings passed across his friends features; fear, anger, worry, concern, hesitation.

"Charles." Erik pressed reaching out a hand and placing it on Charles' shoulder.

"I don't know where I am Erik." Charles almost whispered, his happy mood vanishing immediately. "I don't know where I've been for the last..." He trailed off, not knowing how long he'd been in Shaw's hands.

"Nearly three days my friend." Erik said softly, guilt obvious in both his tone and his eyes as Charles looked at him. "I'm sorry..." He muttered.

"Whatever for? You couldn't have found me Erik. We don't know where Shaw is remember." Charles pointed out, instinctively trying to absolve his friend of any guilt.

"I heard you..." Erik whispered, looking at the ground. Charles frowned and opened his mouth to speak but Erik continued. "I heard you the night he took you... I heard you call out for me. I heard you call out for my help Charles and I thought it was dream..." Erik's voice died away as the self-hatred stole the words from him.

"Oh my friend." Charles whispered, his voice warm and forgiving. "My friend. Knowing you were safe from Shaw was enough to help me." Reaching out a hand Charles lifted Erik's chin and stared him right in the eyes. "Shaw wants your power my friend, he doesn't care for you and I am so terrified of him hurting you anymore than he has already done so that I am glad that you didn't find me then..." Charles smiled and Erik shook his head disbelievingly. "If you don't believe me then have a look around; this is my head afterall. I'm sure you'll find the proof to back up my words."

Erik snorted and Charles' smile widened slightly. "Forgive me my friend?" Erik asked as he tightened his grip slightly on his friends shoulder.

"Already forgiven my friend." Charles smiled and nodded as Erik blinked tears out of his eyes. "Though I don't see anything to forgive really." He added and Erik gave him a weak glare.

 

* * *

 

"We're about forty minutes out guys." Hank called out. "Be ready to wake Magneto." He added just in case any of them had forgot the mental manipulators orders.

Alex looked at the cockpit and answered. "We can count Hank."

Raven sighed and continue to watch Erik sleep. He looked so peaceful, so calm, so happy that she dreaded having to wake him.

But she'd have to in ten minutes anyway. They had a war to fight afterall.

 

* * *

 

"Erik. You need to listen very carefully to me." Charles said, all humour gone from his eyes as he jumped into leader-mode. Erik instantly snapped to attention and focused on what Charles said. "I don't know exactly where Shaw is but I know he's on a submarine; there's no minds for miles and I can tell that we're below sea-level. You need to find a way to find the submarine and bring it to the surface."

Erik nodded and Charles continued, his voice low and urgent. "My friend. You need to listen to what I say next so carefully." Charles stared into Erik's eyes for a long moment before continuing. "I understand how much finding Shaw means to you but please, my dear friend, find me first." Charles stopped speaking and looked away from his friend, suddenly vulnerable and shy.

"Charles." Erik said. "What is it?"

"Please Erik. Just promise me that you'll find me first." Charles said, his voice uncharacteristically timid and desperate.

Erik frowned in worry and concern for his friend as he felt the anger start to build up. Shaw had hurt his friend and had turned his strong, confident, unafraid Charles into a man who was scared of being left alone.

"I will Charles. I give you my word my friend. I will find you." Erik said firmly, tilting his head to look intensely into Charles' eyes. "I will not fail you my friend."

Charles smiled at him in amazed surprise because he knew how much Shaw meant to his friend and he had really thought that his friend would go after Shaw first. Just as Charles was about to speak again there was a shudder that ran through the astral plane.

"Charles?" Erik called out as he began to fade.

"Erik?" Charles exclaimed as his friend began to disappear before his eyes. "You must be waking up! Don't fight it! Please, don't fight it Erik!"

"Charles!" Erik called out again, reaching for his friend as he was pulled from the astral world in to the real world.

 

* * *

 

"Charles!" Erik exclaimed as he sat bolt upright, forgetting the shoulder straps which jerked him backwards.

"Erik!" Raven was stood next to him, her hand on his shoulder. She stared nervously down at him in worry and concern. "Erik?"

Erik stared at her and breathed out heavily, trying to get himself under control. "I saw him. I saw Charles." He panted out and Raven gasped.

"What? How Erik?" She asked as she sat down in the seat beside him. The other were listening in to their conversation.

"He was on an... astral plane in his mind. He brought me into it." Erik explained, knowing he was confusing the others. "He told me that we have to find the submarine." At the blank faces of the others he clarified. "Shaw's on a submarine. So Charles. We need to find it and bring it up."

 

* * *

 

Shaw entered the room holding the young telepath and walked over to stand over the still unconscious young man. He smiled softly as he stared down at his greatest weapon. The boy, because he was a boy compared to Shaw, was powerful, far more than he gave himself credit for, and Shaw knew he could use the boy for a great many things. If he could turn him.

"Wakey-wakey Charlie-boy." He called out as he placed his hand on the young telepath's shoulder and sent a strong burst of electrical energy through his system, ripping him from unconsciousness with a vindictive pleasure. "I want you to be awake for the end of the world."

He smiled as Charles groaned and looked up at Shaw's face. "You're insane." He muttered and Shaw's smile turned into a frown.

"And you are still trying to be normal Charles." Shaw pointed out. "When are you going to accept it? You are not normal. You're a freak. And they are insignificant bugs that need eradicating."

"No... they're human beings with the ability to be the better men. They are better than you Shaw. They'll always be better than you." Charles argued and Shaw snarled at him, sending another burst of energy through his body causing him to writhe in pain on the table.

"You won't think like that when there's none of them left." Shaw muttered darkly before turning and stalking out the room leaving Charles lying on the table, panting in agony.

It took him a good few minutes before he could get the pain under control. Groaning and closing his eyes wearily, Charles tried to think of something, anything he could do to help. He couldn't contact the others on the astral plane again, he was awake now and so was Erik. But... maybe...

His eyes snapped open and he smiled. He couldn't talk on the astral plane, but maybe, just maybe, he could do the same thing in the real world. Maybe he could make a projection of himself and put on the plane. It was close enough now from what he could tell. He could feel the pull of hundreds of minds around him, not close enough for him to control any of them, but certainly close enough for him to hear things.

Closing his eyes and forcing himself to breath evenly Charles tried to clear his mind and think only of the plane and the others. He tried to think only of Erik. In... out... in... out... Breathe and think... focus...

He opened his eyes and found himself standing in the middle of the Blackbird being stared at by his friends. He smiled and waved at them. "Surprise."


	2. Part II

Erik was the first of them out of his seat, almost flying across the distance between him and his friend, and Charles couldn't help but tense up at the forth-coming impact... which never came.

With a strangled cry of surprise, from both of them, Erik fell right _through_ his friend and landed flat on his face. Charles, for the most part, almost fell over from both the shock of having his friend fall through him and the sheer feeling he felt as Erik did so.

"Charles! Erik!" Raven cried out as she stepped towards them. Worry and fear rolling off her in waves and Charles couldn't help it, couldn't stop himself from reaching out with his mind to her, to all of them, and sending them a sense of reassurance.

Charles turned to look down at his friend, finally getting himself and his feelings back under control. "Erik?" He asked as he reached out a hand for his friend to grab, momentarily forgetting how _that_ had turned out the first time. "Uh... sorry?"

Erik glared up at his friend, thinking murderous thoughts that made Charles swallow thickly. "How are you here?" Erik asked as he climbed to his feet, standing firmly in front of his friend and looking him directly in the eye. "And how the hell did I just go right through you?"

Charles' lip twitched in amusement but the reality of the situation about them kept him from laughing. "I believe that what you're seeing in front of you, what you're all seeing in fact, is actually an astral projection of my physical form which is in a close-enough proximity to allow me to project myself on to the Blackbird." He answered solemnly but he couldn't help the sprinkle of excitement and wonder colouring his words as he looked around at them. "Which I think answers your second question also." He added, smiling at his friend who simply glared at him.

"So where _are_ you exactly?" Alex asked as he stared at the astral-Charles before them. He was confused and didn't understand any of this, but then again, who the hell would be able to understand this unless they were a genius like Hank or the Professor.

For a fraction of a second Charles' face darkened as he thought of where he was, but only Raven and Erik noticed. "I'm on Shaw's submarine." Charles answered as he turned to look at Erik. "Unfortunately you'll need a way of finding him and-" Charles suddenly stopped speaking, his eyes turning unfocused and distant.

"Charles?" Erik questioned, reaching out a hand instinctively but stopping himself from actually touching his friend who was like a ghost right now.

And suddenly Charles' eyes refocused and he focused his gaze directly on Erik's face. Erik blinked in surprise at the sudden change in his friend.

"The cargo ship heading towards the line... the crew are dead." Charles bit out and Erik frowned in confusion.

"What cargo ship?" He asked looking at his friend, expecting him to answer and his gaze snapped around to focus on the cockpit when Hank answered instead.

"The cargo ship that is in the middle of the Russian and American fleets and isn't responding to the Russian's calls." Hank called out as he revved the jet engines and brought them closer to the brewing battle.

"If that ship crosses the line then our boys'll fire and world war three will start." Moira called out, her presence all but forgotten up till now.

Charles looked at the cockpit and smiled slightly. "What if it's not _our_ boys?" He asked and she frowned.

Refocusing his attention on Erik, Charles focused his mind on searching for someone, anyone, on one of the Russian ships that he could use from this distance. "Hank, pilot us closer to the Russian fleet." He called out, hoping that he could use the reach he had in the jet to lengthen his reach from wherever the sub was.

Hank dutifully piloted them closer to the Russian ships and waited for the professors next orders.

Charles reached out again and searched for a weak mind that he could manipulate and nearly sighed in relief when he found one. Quickly entering the man's mind he manipulated his body over to the controls for the missiles and fired one at the cargo ship, before fleeing the man's mind just as quickly as he'd entered.

 

 

* * *

 

"They say the comrade lost his mind. The Americans are plotting." Azazel replied as he translated the transmission in his mind.

Shaw was quiet for a moment before almost whispering. "They're here." And then he blinked and looked up. "That telepath _is_ powerful." _'Too powerful for him to be an enemy of mine.'_

"We're moving to a backup plan." Shaw added as he tapped the helmet adorning his face in thought.

 

* * *

 

"That was inspired Charles." Moira said as she ran through the transmissions coming from the American ships, and the Russian ones.

"Thank you very much but I still don't know where Shaw or myself are." Charles replied.

"You're down there, we need to you both now." Erik said firmly, trying to keep his anger under control.

Charles, unable to argue with Erik's statement, turned to look at Hank. "Hank?" He asked.

Hank turned at his name and looked at Moira. "Anything unusual on the radar?"

"No." Moira answered. "Nothing." She felt disheartened and useless, both feelings Charles picked up and soothed over with feelings of optimism and comfort.

"Well then he must be underwater." Hank reasoned, nodding to Charles who felt like pointing out that of course he was underwater. "And obviously, we don't have sonar." The blue, furred mutant added turning back to the controls.

"Yes we do." Sean countered and Erik and Charles looked at one another.

"Yes we do." Charles repeated as he and Erik began to move and Hank opened the bomb-bay doors, at Sean's request, to reveal the sparkling blue ocean about a few hundred feet beneath them.

"Hey. You stay away from me." Sean shouted over the sound of the air rushing around them and Erik held his arms up in surrender as Charles smirked.

As Sean prepared to jump Charles shouted out. "Remember! This is a muscle. You control what you do." Sean nodded and jumped out the plane falling through the air until he screamed and flew.

He arced up high in the air before angling himself down and diving into the water. Blinking as he began to swim with his hands, Sean let loose a large burst of supersonic sound through the water, effectively acting as a sonar for the ship.

Up on the Blackbird Charles looked at Erik and said. "Banshee's got a physical location on Shaw." Erik nodded and Charles couldn't help but add. "Ready for this?"

Erik stared at his friend for a moment before saying. "Let's find out."

 

* * *

 

Hank levelled the jet out and lowered the landing gear as Erik climbed onto the front wheel and searched with his powers for Shaw's sub. He found it and with a smile began to try and raise it from the depths.

Struggling desperately with himself and trying to find the necessary rage to pull up Shaw's sub but he couldn't. All he could find was worry, concern and fear of what would happen to Charles' real body when he did. All he could think of was killing Shaw as painfully and slowly as possible. All he could do was strain his powers and hate himself when he couldn't even manage to pull the sub where his friend was held, caged, to the surface.

Charles heard all of his friends thoughts and felt a sudden jolt of sheer agony, born not of physical discomfort but emotional. His friend was suffering, and the only thing Charles could think of doing was whispering to Erik's unconscious and his soul, whispering reassuring things and comforting him, as he said inside his friends mind. _'Remember. The point between rage and serenity.'_

And like a God being granted the full extent of his powers, Erik's mind calmed and his power came under his complete control. Every contour of the sub, every tiny piece of metal present in its structure, was bending to his command and he could _feel it all_. He could _feel_ the submarine rising from the depths and he could feel the _metal_ moving and bending to obey his wish.

It was amazing and exhilarating and Erik smiled joyously as Charles watched from the Blackbird as his friend did the impossible. The submarine rose from the water like a chained leviathan being dragged from its icy domain and Charles could feel everything Erik felt as his friend revelled in his achievement.

But it was short lived.

From the hatch on top of the submarine another of Shaw's associates appeared, the one who could create tornados, and just as the other mutant began to use his powers Charles shouted out, forgetting that his friend couldn't. "Erik! Take my hand!"

As Erik's control over the submarine fled him as he gripped onto the landing gear Charles couldn't hold himself back as he threw out his arm, gripping onto the side of the jet and shouting out again. "Erik! Take my hand!"

As Hank lost control of the jet and one of the engine's was ripped clean off, Erik grabbed for Charles hand desperately and Charles reached for Erik's. Just as the jet began to lose altitude Erik's hand wrapped itself around Charles' forearm and Charles held his friends hand tighter than a metal-band could.

Just as Charles managed to pull Erik through the hatch for the landing gear, the jet finally succumbed to gravity and hit the ground with a jolt strong enough to throw Charles to the floor.

Landing in a heap on the ground, Charles didn't have enough warning to grab something as the plane began to turn over and instinctively Erik dived on top of his friend and glued them to the floor with his powers. Too busy dealing with the still moving jet, Erik didn't think about how Charles was suddenly solid and neither did Charles.

When the jet finally came to a stop, Erik lowered them down from the floor which was now the ceiling. Standing up he glanced at Charles and couldn't help but ask. "You're solid now?"

Charles looked up at his friend as the others set about freeing themselves and blinked. "Apparently."

 

* * *

 

"The gigacounts going insane!" Moira called out and Charles felt like hitting his head against the wall.

"Alright. This is what we're going to do." He called out. "Shaw's in there making himself into some kind of a nuclear bomb."

"I'm going after him." Erik said, murder in his every thought and for one terrified moment Charles truly thought his friend had forgotten his promise to him. "After I find you."

Charles just managed to stop himself from sighing in relief at Erik's words. "Alex. Hank. Raven. Back him up. Moira, get on the line and tell the two fleets to get away from here."

Moira nodded and began to do as he said. "Erik. I can lead you to myself. But you have to be quick. And bring my suit with you." Charles said looking at his friend and then pointedly at the trunk that looked to be the only thing that was undamaged.

Erik nodded, frowning slightly at the last sentence but he grabbed the last remaining suit in the trunk and held it in a tight grip. "I didn't take you for being shy Charles." He quipped as the telepath blushed in embarrassment.

"Just get going." Charles retorted before disappearing from the jet and opening his eyes in the room he was still held within.

 

* * *

 

It looked like someone had detonated a small bomb inside it; most of the instruments were strewn around the room and Charles' eyes widened as he looked to his right and saw a rather sharp scalpel embedded in the table less than a centimetre from his face. "Oh..." He breathed out in surprise.

Reaching out with his mind Charles found Erik's mind not too far away from his own, that would help him when guiding his friend to him. "Right. Let's get going shall we?" Charles said to no-one in particular as he projected his thoughts into Erik's mind. _'Erik?'_

' _Charles?'_ His friends voice rang out loudly in his mind and Charles smiled. _'Where are you?'_

' _I'm about half way along the ship, not too far from the middle in a room which is on one of the lower decks.'_ Charles answered. _'I'll be able to be more precise when you're closer so hurry please my friend.'_

' _I am Charles. I am.'_ Erik answered as he ran through the mini battlefield between the team and Shaw's mutants. Quickly and ruthlessly Erik ripped a large chunk of metal off the side of the sub and threw it on the mutant known as Riptide, knocking him unconscious and leaving him a clear route in to the sub.

' _How polite of you my friend.'_ Charles observed, seeing Erik's journey through his own eyes.

' _Sorry Charles, I'm not one for discussing things over a cup of tea. That's more your area than mine.'_ Erik replied as he manipulated the metal around him to produce a passage down to the lower levels of the sub.

Charles snorted and shook his head as best he could on the metal table. _'Oh my friend... you wouldn't believe some of the things I've done; they'd fall in any category but 'mine' for certain.'_

' _Oh?'_ Erik thought, intrigued.

' _Turn left and I should be in the last door on your right.'_ Charles instructed firmly as he stretched his mind further out, beyond Erik, and checked on the status of his team. _'The others are doing quite well.'_

' _And you're avoiding the subject.'_ Erik pointed out as he ripped another door off its hinges and proceeded down the corridor until he reached the last door on the right. _'Though I suppose you could always tell me to my face.'_

Taking a deep breath, steeling himself for what he might find, Erik opened the door to Charles' room, cage, and couldn't help but gasp in surprise. "Charles!" He exclaimed as he ran into the room.

"I'm fine. Just a little battered." Charles said, trying to sound calm and soothing to his friend but he found it significantly more difficult now that he was in the room with him. "Couldn't give me a hand could you?" He smiled at his friend who looked, for all the world, like he was about to explode from anger. "Erik. Calm your mind please." Charles added softly and his friend's eyes snapped up to lock with his own.

"How do you expect me to be calm when you're..." Erik trailed off as he realised he hadn't moved any further into the room than half-a-dozen steps. "Forgive me my friend." Erik said as he stepped forward and worked on releasing Charles from the table.

As he worked on the restraints in silence, Erik forced himself to not look at his friend, his oh so special friend who was caged and tied up like an animal. Charles looked battered and worn and Erik wanted to kick himself for not realising that Charles wouldn't appear on the jet looking like he did now; it would have given the children heart attacks and Raven might have torn Shaw apart if Erik wasn't going to do it himself. Though there was little in way of blood, there was enough dried and caked on his friends skin to allow Erik to form some idea of what Charles had gone through in the last few days. It made him want to throw up because he saw the bruising on Charles' chest, the tensing of the muscles and he could hear the iron in his friends blood speeding about as Charles' blood-pressure rose higher and higher. Erik might not be a telepath but his own ability told him that Charles was trying not to panic as Erik stood over him and undid the restraints.

Whilst Erik's thoughts and feelings shot about in his mind, Charles focused himself on calming his own mind as a number of unbidden, unwanted memories and feelings assaulted him. Memories of Shaw standing over him. Memories of Shaw hurting him. Feelings of pain and agony and hatred. It took so much of his attention that he didn't realise immediately that he was free and he quickly hopped off the table before Erik could acknowledge his lapse in concentration. He winced at the pain still present in his chest from Shaw's attempt at musical organs. "I'm quite alright Erik." Charles said as he caught sight of Erik's concerned face.

' _Like hell you are.'_ Erik thought and Charles smiled as Erik realised that his friend had heard his thought. "Don't you dare deny it." He warned dangerously as he pointed at Charles with the hand still gripping his friends suit.

"Ah, my suit. Thank you. I could do with something to change into." Charles said, ignoring Erik's glare as he pulled the suit out of his friends grip. "If you'll give me a moment to change, we'll be able to deal with Shaw momentarily." _'That means you turn around and look away Erik.'_ Charles thought at his friend and he was rewarded with a slight blush on his friends features.

"Just get on with it." Erik said as he turned around and gave Charles some privacy, purposefully thinking in German and singing an old German song that he'd heard when still a child.

 

* * *

 

"Right. Which way genius?" Erik asked as he followed, a now suited-up, Charles along the narrow corridor in the sub.

"My mind is being blocked in the middle somewhere, so we've got to assume that's where Shaw is." Charles answered as he checked the status of the others finding Banshee fighting with Angel, Havok and Beast were both busy with Azazel, Raven was itching to go out and join them but she couldn't fly and Moira was busy trying to convince the fleets to move. The tornado-creating mutant, Riptide, was unconscious and he knew where Erik was but he still had nothing on Shaw.

"Alright." Erik simply said as he stared at the back of Charles' head, he was trying to not think – in English anyway – about what his friend had probably gone though at Shaw's hands. His own experiences were far from pleasurable and he was worried how Charles would handle seeing the bastard. Erik had had twenty years to perfect his hatred of the man, Charles hadn't even had a week. He just hoped he wouldn't be a liability, or lose control of his own powers.

It was obvious that Charles was strong. It was more than obvious in fact and Erik wondered, when Charles had said to him that not even Charles would be able to match him if he mastered his power, if the young man was being modest about his own power or didn't even realise his full potential. He knew that Charles was a rare type of mutant, telepaths weren't exactly uncommon but telepaths with the ability to manipulate minds, freeze people and project thoughts and memories onto more than one person at a time... they were rare. Very rare. Shaw had obviously found one such telepath in Emma Frost but it seemed apparent that Charles was stronger than her. And it worried Erik more than ever before, because Charles knew that. Charles knew he was powerful now, not just strong, not just gifted, but honest to God powerful.

Erik just hoped the young man wouldn't become drunk on power like Erik had revenge.

 

* * *

 

"That's the nuclear reactor." Charles said as they stepped into the control room of the sub. He pointed at the controls and they moved over to it.

Erik studied it for a moment before reaching out and shutting the reactor off. _'Shaw's not going to be happy with this.'_

"That's the idea Erik." Charles said as he looked at his friend. "We make _him_ come to _us_."

Erik stared at his friend and couldn't help but snort in disbelief. "That's you're plan?" He questioned and stifled a laugh when his friend frowned. "Oh my friend you are hopeless." He laughed and Charles glared at him before turning away suddenly and focusing his attention on the door next to the reactor controls.

"The void is beyond that door." Charles said softly, not moving, not looking away from the door and Erik frowned before reaching out with his power and opening the door as silently as possible.

Together they walked into the room and looked around themselves.

"He's not here." Erik said. "Shaw's not here." He spun around in anger and frustration as Charles looked frantically at the walls.

"He must be Erik. There's nowhere else he can be. Keep looking." Charles said quickly as he moved closer to the walls and tried to find out what was beyond them. It made no sense. It was like he was in a concrete room with no windows, no air. He could sense nothing beyond the walls.

"There's no-one here God damnit!" Erik exploded as he faced the door and huffed in anger.

Behind the pair of them there was the sound of a door opening and they slowly turned around to look at the now open wall. Standing in the middle of the now revealed nuclear reactor, was Shaw, a slight smile on his features as he stared out at them.

"Erik." Shaw's voice rang out. "What a pleasant surprise." Shaw's focus shifted slightly and focused on Charles who resisted the urge to hide behind his friend. "I see you found Charles."

Erik stared at Shaw, his face blank but his eyes burning with absolute hatred, and he growled at the insinuation in Shaw's voice. Shaw smirked and returned his attention to Erik. "So good to see you again." He added as the two friends stood side-by-side and stared at evil.

"Come on in." Shaw said to them and they looked at each other, just for a moment, before stepping forward and entering the void. The door sliding shut behind them.

 

* * *

 

Charles instantly began speaking to Erik telepathic, not showing any outward sign that he was doing so as Shaw stared at the pair of them for a long time.

"May I ask you something?" Shaw asked, directing his question towards Erik who gave no other sign of having heard him except the twitch of a facial muscle. "Why are you on their side?"

' _Erik.'_ Charles called out, his mind reaching out to Erik's and he wanted to recoil from the sheer torrent of emotion in his friend. But he didn't. _'Erik. We need to get that helmet off him. If we can get it off him I can freeze him long enough to disable him.'_

"Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon as they realise their reign will come to an end?" Shaw asked, looking directly at Erik.

' _Alright. What's your plan genius?'_ Erik thought back as he stared darkly at Shaw who had yet to say anything or make a move.

' _Hit him.'_ Charles replied and, if they hadn't been speaking telepathically and thus not letting Shaw onto their plan, Erik would have had turned to look at his friend with a raised eyebrow.

' _And what are you going to do whilst I hit him hmm?'_ Erik shot back, his thoughts laden with sarcasm.

' _I'm going to be working on a way to get his helmet off without killing us both.'_ Charles answered after a moment's hesitation. _'Ready?'_

' _No.'_ Erik replied but he threw a hard left hook at Shaw, snapping the man's head back and nearly breaking his hand in two.

Charles dived forwards towards Shaw but the madman threw out a hand with enough force to send Charles flying into the wall-door behind them and land in a heap on the floor. Erik's head snapped around to look at his friend when Shaw spoke again.

"I'm sorry for what happened in the camps." Shaw said, compassion and emotion in his every word, and Erik turned to look at him in disbelief. "I truly am."

Before Erik could do anything, Shaw raised a hand and placed two fingers on his forehead. A massive bust of energy emanated from Shaw and threw Erik backwards into the same wall-door that Charles had collided with moments ago. He landed on the floor, next to Charles and they both lay there for a moment, panting from pain and the shock of energy to their systems.

"But everything I did. I did for you." Shaw said as he stepped forward. "To unlock your power." He looked at the pair of them now. "For both of you."

' _Erik.'_ Charles' voice rang in Erik's head. _'Don't listen to him. We need to get the helmet off him.'_

Shaw reached out a hand and Charles forced himself to make an astral projection of himself behind Shaw which reached out and grabbed the madman's shoulder. It distracted him enough for him and Erik to scramble to their feet and go for Shaw at the same time. One reaching out to hit him, the other to steal his helmet.

Shaw threw Erik away from him using some form of telekinesis born out of the raw power he'd consumed and Charles listened to Erik's thoughts as his friend went flying into the mirror-like wall behind him, causing it to shatter from the impact. Turning his attention to Charles, Shaw reached out a hand and wrapped it around his throat, lifting him off the floor as he did so. Charles clawed at Shaw's hand, trying to get him to let go but Shaw's grip was too strong, the man was too powerful.

Suddenly Charles felt himself being thrown backwards into another of the mirror-like walls and he collided against it with enough force to shatter it and cause a thousand shards of mirror to rain down on him as he hit the ground hard. The ground came up to meet his falling head and Charles blacked out, leaving Erik alone with Shaw.

 

* * *

 

Slowly dragging himself to his feet, Erik glanced over at his now unconscious friend and found his gaze lingering as panic rose within him and he stared in fear at his friend. Was he dead? Had Shaw killed him? Was he injured?

Erik didn't know and he blinked as he realised that Shaw was standing over Charles and Erik didn't know if he was powerful to fight the madman, but he wasn't going to leave Charles to Shaw's torture ever again.

With a roar of pure anger, Erik threw himself at Shaw, catching the man around the chest with arms, and he dragged him away from his friend with a strength he didn't know he possessed. Shaw fell backwards in surprise and the pair of them landed on the floor.

Erik forced the metal beneath his feet, below the mirror-floor, to rise up and wrap itself around Shaw who shouted out in surprise. The angered young man crawled away from the now restrained Shaw and over to his friend, his mind screaming out to the still unconscious Charles. Looking briefly at Shaw, Erik felt his anger increase and the worry inside him morph into hatred. The metal around the other man began to tighten as Erik glared murderously at Shaw who suddenly smiled at him.

Erik frowned in confusion as the metal surrounding Shaw loosened and fell away allowing the man to stand up fully and stare down at him.

"Not bad." Shaw commented as he looked down at the metal on the floor for a moment before waving a hand and sending it off to the side of the room. Looking back at Erik, Shaw smiled and Erik suppressed a shiver of fear, not for himself but for his unconscious friend. Erik was powerless against Shaw, he couldn't protect Charles now. He was going to fail his friend like he had done his mother all those years ago and it broke Erik's heart.

 

* * *

 

Havok held his hands in the air as the American naval men of the ship was stuck on pointed their weapons at him. 'Great.' He thought to himself as they stared fearfully at him. 'This is the thanks you get for helping them.' He wanted to laugh at the irony of it but something caught his attention. There, to his far left, he could just make out Banshee flying towards him.

Suppressing a smile of amusement, Havok lifted his hands a little further up and placed them over his ears as Banshee let loose a sonic wave of sound. The men around him fell to their knees as the wave deafened them and Havok bolted for the side of the ship.

Jumping off the deck, his hand reaching out for Banshee's own, Havok desperately hoped that they wouldn't miss. He did not relish the idea of swimming with the fishes right now.

Banshee's hand gripped his forearm tightly and, Havok looked down in amazement. They'd made it. He was flying. "Woooo!" He couldn't help but cry out as Banshee grinned and flew for the beach.

Neither of them noticed Angel coming up behind them and by the time they realised she was chasing them, she'd already let loose one of her toxic-spits and it hit Banshee's remaining wing. 'Oh shit.' Alex thought as they began to lose altitude fast, and he wanted to cry out in fear and alarm when his feet began to descend into the water.

Banshee screamed at the water, using his power to try and keep them airborne but it wasn't working properly and they just managed to make it to the beach before they hit the ground, rolling over one another until they ended up separating and Banshee was staring at the sky and Havok eating a mouthful of sand.

Lying on the ground looking at the sky, Banshee noticed Angel coming in closer, aiming for him. Scrambling backwards he tried to get his breath back enough to scream but he couldn't. Just as he was expecting his death, Havok scrambled to his knees and let out a cry of determination as he used his own power and sent a ring of energy directly at Angel.

Eyes widening in fear Angel tried to dodge the ring of energy but it caught one of her wings and severed it. She let out a cry of shock as she fell to the floor with enough force to knock her out.

Banshee looked over at Havok who was looking at his hands in disbelief, and laughed in amazement. "Awesome!"

Havok's joy in his power was short-lived however, when a sudden "crack!" alerted them to Azazel's presence on the beach. Azazel who was currently fighting with Beast still and had got the blue researcher on his back with his tail positioned to pierce through Beast's eye.

Before they could do anything a voice rang out, drawing the attention of everyone. "Stop." Azazel looked over and stared at Shaw. "Azazel."

Rising slowly to his feet Azazel waited for his orders. He stare at his leader for a moment, waiting, when Beast jumped up and grabbed his arm, throwing the red teleporter who teleported again a loud "crack!" echoing around them.

Beast stared at the empty space where Azazel had been for a moment before another "crack!" issued from behind him and without hesitation, Beast spun around and hit Azazel's chest with enough to break bones.

The teleporter landed in a heap in the sand, unconscious and Beast looked over at Raven as she returned to her normal form. "Thanks." He said and she smiled at him.

"No problem." She answered as Havok and Banshee grinned at her.

 

* * *

 

"You've come a long way from bending gates. I'm so proud of you." Shaw said and Charles, in a semi-conscious, pained state, realised the madman was talking to Erik again. _'No. Leave him alone.'_

"And you've only just scratched the surface, like your friend." Shaw continued when there was a sudden explosion of noise and chaos around them as Erik caused the metal piping around them to shatter the remaining mirrors and put space between them and Shaw. "Think of what we could achieve. Together." Shaw said and Charles opened his eyes in time to see Shaw pin Erik against the wall with the medium that his power preferred – metal. It was the ultimate irony and for some reason it made Charles incredibly angry.

"I don't want to hurt you Erik. I didn't want to hurt Charles either." Shaw said as Charles watched, helpless to move as his body refused to listen to his mind. "This is our time. Our age. We are the future of the human race. The three of us son. This world could be ours." Shaw smiled and it was that smile, that single smile that caused something to break in Charles. Something that had been built long ago, when he was young and afraid of his own power. Something that he couldn't even recall building but knew was there when it broke and everything came pouring out.

In the blink of an eye Erik and Shaw's positions were reversed as the metal pinning Erik to the wall was suddenly sent at Shaw with enough force to propel the madman backwards against one of the last remaining mirror-covered walls. The metal surrounding them began to fade away, bit by bit and the walls around them began to fall apart as Charles slowly rose to stand next to his friend and so much more.

Erik stared in shock and awe as the room around them dissolved into nothing and Shaw began to burn and boil. He didn't want to stop his friend, partly because he didn't know if he could, and partly because he wanted Shaw to suffer but he realised that his friend shouldn't have to live with the knowledge that he killed a man because he lost control. Charles wasn't like Erik. Charles hadn't been made into a vengeful creature though years of trauma. Charles was bright and pure and innocent and Erik loved him too much to let Charles destroy himself.

"Charles." Erik said as he reached out a hand and placed it on Charles' shoulder. "Calm your mind my friend." He said quietly into his friends ear, not really believing it would work but hoping that it would calm his friend and allow him to return to reason. "This isn't you."

"He hurt you." Charles bit out as he stared hatefully at Shaw's writhing form. "He hurt you for so long Erik." Charles voice broke and Erik moved to look at his friends face, surprised to seeing tears starting to fall from his shimmering blue eyes.

"Yes. He did." Erik conceded, not finding a way to argue against such a statement. "But he's not worth you destroying your life over something that happened in the past." Erik said as he looked desperately at Charles' face. "Charles, my friend, look at me." He implored of his friend.

Slowly Charles' eyes moved and locked with his own. "Killing him won't bring you peace. It won't change the past." Erik said, not thinking before he spoke and he was surprised that he, himself, realised the truth of those words. Killing Shaw wouldn't bring either of them peace now. Erik's peace had been found the first time Charles tried to help him with his powers and had shown him the point somewhere between rage and serenity. Charles' peace had been found when he'd discovered a lost, angered and vengeful man with so much good in him that Charles felt addicted to his very existence from the moment they first met.

Charles blinked and looked at his friend. Really looked. Not stared at him whilst his emotions controlled his abilities, but looked at him with all the awareness that a man could muster. "You're right." Charles said finally. His words quiet but final. "You're right. But he can't be left to roam untamed."

"What do you have in mind?" Erik asked, as he watched Charles' attention return to the man now frozen opposite them, the agony Charles had been inflicting on him had stopped the moment Erik found his friend again.

Charles smiled a dark, vindictive smile that made Erik shiver. Such a smile should never adorn Charles Xavier's features and Erik sincerely hoped it would be the last time he ever saw such a look on his friends face, ever again.

 

* * *

 

"Beast!" Havok shouted out as he spotted the blue, furred mutant ambling towards Raven. Upon hearing his name the young mutant spun around to face Havok who was trying to hold up an unconscious Banshee. "Banshee's injured!"

Immediately, without any preamble, both Beast and Raven hurried over to Havok and helped him support the slightly woozy Banshee over towards the damaged remains of the Blackbird. "There's a first aid kit in the jet." Beast said, looking at Raven. "See if you can find it."

Raven nodded in affirmation and scarpered over to the jet where Moira was waiting. "Help me find the first aid kit." Raven called out to the CIA agent and the pair of them set to work, sifting through the wreckage of the jet for the kit.

"Careful. Set him down here." Beast said lowly as he and Havok lowered Banshee's form until he was resting against a piece of metal that was protruding from the sand. "Where was he hit?" Beast asked looking up at Havok who shrugged.

"I don't know. Angel got his wing when we were coming in to land and we kinda fell." Havok answered, confusion and worry rolling off him so strongly that one didn't have to be a telepath to feel it. Beast growled slightly in frustration as he realised that if there wasn't a physical wound on the surface then the injury would be internal where he couldn't reach.

"Hank!" Raven's voice echoed behind them. "Got the kit!" She added as she ran up to them, Moira trailing behind them. "How is he?" She asked as she passed the blue mutant the case.

"I don't know yet. I need to check to see if he's got any external injuries." Hank answered quietly as he searched through the case until he found a scalpel and a couple rolls of gauze. Quickly and efficiently he cut away the arms of Banshee's suit before moving onto the rest of the top-half of it, the zipper looked like it had been partially melted and Hank surmised that was Angel's doing.

Alex, Raven and Moira waited impatiently as Hank worked to free Banshee's chest of his suit and they all gasped in surprise when they saw that their friends chest was mottled with rapidly purpling bruises. None of them spoke but Hank sucked in a harsh breathe as he took stock of the damage to Banshee's body; it was obviously internal and that was a bigger problem than anything else. If it had been a cut, a wound or even a burn then he could have dealt with it decently enough. But this was _inside_ Banshee's body...

"He needs to get to a hospital. Fast." Hank said solemnly as he looked up at the others. "I can't treat this." Raven's eyes widened in realisation as the others processed Hank's words. If they didn't get their friend to a hospital quickly, then they might end up losing him. Permanently.

 

* * *

 

As they sat around Banshee's still form, each lost in their own thoughts as Hank constantly checked Banshee's vitals, they watched in silence as the two fleets began to move in the waters. Moira watched them impassively, not really taking in what was unfolding around them, and it was only when the sound of grinding metal echoed around them that her attention snapped back to the present; everyone else following quickly.

Snapping their gazes from the ships onto the sub behind them they watched in apprehension as a large piece of the hull broke away and fell to the ground. Raven slowly rose to her feet, Havok and Moira rising behind her, as they waited to see who would step out on to the beach before them. They breathed out a sigh of surprise and relief when Erik floated through the hole, followed by Charles and a frozen Shaw.

"Charles!" Raven exclaimed, happiness flooding her system as she saw her brother, in the flesh, for the first time in days. She smiled widely and ran across the sand towards her brother who was slowly descending to the floor. She noticed that Erik was watching her brother warily but she dismissed any thoughts pertaining to the other man's wariness as she threw herself into her brothers arms.

"Raven." Charles cried out in exhilaration. "How good it is to finally see you with my own eyes!" He laughed as she hugged him tighter and he held her close to him as she began to sob against his chest in earnest. "Hey..." He said softly as he titled his head. "It's alright... I'm fine."

His attempts to reassure his sister obviously didn't seem to work as she began to sob even more and he looked over at Erik, the expression on his face mirrored by his friend who shrugged and thought. 'Don't look at me... I don't do girls.' Charles frowned slightly in annoyance at Erik's less-than helpful thought before refocusing his attention on his sister.

"Raven. Raven sweetie... I need you to let me go." He murmured quietly and he groaned slightly as Raven tightened her grip around his waist in response. "Raven, I need to keep Shaw contained." He added, hoping that his sister would see reason and stop crying an ocean on him.

Slowly Raven raised her head off her brother's chest and looked at him. She stared at him for a long moment before nodding silently and releasing him from her strong embrace. Smiling at her, Charles brushed a strand of her red hair away from her face before turning away and focusing his attention on Shaw again.

Erik, who had stood by in silence and watched the siblings interact, wondered if Charles could control all of his power if the need ever arose. He knew his friend could do things that Erik himself had only ever dreamt about, but he didn't know if Charles could retain all of his mental faculties whilst doing so. He doubted Charles knew either. And that was where the majority of his concern lay as he watched as Charles reasserted full control on Shaw's body and mind, at least he _assumed_ Charles was controlling Shaw's mind. Erik knew, from his own experiences, that if one had a gift but didn't know their own limits then one day, some fateful day, something would go wrong and everything would fall apart. That had happened to Erik the day his mother had perished at Shaw's hand and he didn't want Charles to ever experience such a thing. And _that_ was why he was worried about Charles pushing himself too far _now_ , when he was just discovering the extent of his abilities but not the limit of it. Erik was worried that Charles would push too far and fall off the metaphorical precipice into the murky place of emotions ruling ones actions.

Erik turned away from his friend when he realised that he didn't need any assistance from him. Deciding to focus his attention on Shaw's mutants Erik walked towards them, slowly and warily lest one of them perceive his approach threatening. The last thing they needed was another fight.

"My brothers. Sister." Erik said, his voice carrying across the beach to reach the three mutants standing away from Charles' team. "We do not need to fight one another." Azazel watched warily as Erik stopped barely three feet away from them. "I do not know what Shaw promised you, but please, we don't need to fight. Violence will not solve anything." Erik looked at each of the three mutants in turn. "Shaw does not control your destiny, you do that. Whatever he has promised you he would never had given without a price."

Angel shifted uncomfortably and Riptide looked away from Erik but Azazel continued to stare, it was almost as though the teleporter was sizing him up; checking him out to see if he had the weight to back up his words. Erik looked directly at Azazel and said firmly. "We are not enemies and we are not monsters so let us not act as such."

Watching Azazel closely, Erik waited for that decisive moment when some little movement on Azazel's part would affect the other two mutant's choice. He realised that, without Shaw or Frost, they still followed some sort of chain of command and it seemed that Azazel was the one in charge of them. And so Erik knew that, in order to convince the others, he had to convince Azazel first. And he hoped to God that he succeeded.

Azazel stepped forward slowly extending one of his red hands in a gesture of agreement but Erik also realised that it was a show of trust on his part. Azazel could teleport him wherever the hell he liked and Erik knew that, as did Azazel. This was the teleporter's test and in order for Erik to pass he had to place his life in the teleporter's hands. For a small moment he hesitated, he knew the consequences of whichever choice he made, but just thinking back to how he had watched Charles turn into a man he barely recognised was motivation enough for him to reach out and grasp Azazel's hand in a firm grip.

They stared at one another for a long moment, the world momentarily stopping around them as Erik tried to convey with his eyes the belief he had in his words and Azazel challenged his every claim. As quickly as their eyes met and the challenge was met and completed, Azazel broke off the handshake as the two other mutants stepped up beside him, one on either side.

"We are family. We are all the same." Azazel said, his accent emphasising the meaning in the words. Family... yes, perhaps not by blood, as was evidenced by Raven and Charles, but family nonetheless. None of them were superior. And none of them had the right to be judge, jury or executioner. This, Erik realised as he turned around to survey Charles' interaction with the still frozen Shaw. No one man had the right to chose another's fate and every man had the right to change their own destiny. Erik was an example of this and so was Charles. It doesn't matter what power one may possess, at the end of the day, at the end of the battle, at the end of the war, every person is the same as the other. No-one is superior and none are inferior. _'We are all the same... whether we have extraordinary powers or not...'_ Erik thought as he noticed Moira standing next to Raven watching Charles. It should have looked strange to see the non-mutant standing next to the blue Raven, but it wasn't because Moira didn't fear them. Moira was an example of a human who could overcome her base instinct to fear a stronger predator and Erik realised that if one could do it, then so could the rest.

He finally realised that what Charles had always said to him whilst they battled on the chess board was correct. The Human race can accept them because they are them. They always will be human, just different, like a person with Autism or club-foot is human. Variety is the basis of life. Without nothing would have existed in the first place.

' _That's what I've been trying to tell you for a while Erik.'_ Charles voice rang inside Erik's head and he looked over at his friend sharply. _'Though I do find it mildly ironic that you had to remind me that revenge doesn't bring one peace when it is what I was trying to advocate to you from the moment we first met.'_

' _Aren't you meant to be keeping Shaw frozen?'_ Erik thought caustically as he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. _'Or are you going to ask him nicely to not move for the foreseeable future?'_

' _Oh Erik. So kind aren't you?'_ Charles thought back, sarcasm evident in his thought and Erik wanted to know how one could _think_ sarcastically. _'And actually I have an idea about that.'_

' _Oh? Well do tell Professor.'_ Erik began walking over to his friend. _'And perhaps we should switch to the spoken word lest we confuse the children.'_ Erik suggested as he noticed the others looking thoroughly confused. Obviously Charles wasn't letting them listen in on their conversation.

"Yes, quite right Erik." Charles said aloud as he turned his head to look at his friend. "Splendid idea." He smiled as Erik glared at him and couldn't help but add. "You might want to put the kettle on friend."

' _Just tell us the plan you sarcastic pain in the-'_ Erik thought but Charles cut him off mentally and began speaking aloud.

"I am going to place Shaw in a permanent state of stasis, for want of a better word." Charles said looking at the others who were listening to him. "I don't know if it'll work but I am hopeful, however." Charles paused and looked at Erik. "I am unsure as to the side-effects of this since I'm planning on using Shaw's own power to strengthen the stasis. That means I want you off this beach as quickly as possible."

"What! And leave you here!" Raven exclaimed as she stepped towards her brother. "No way! We left you once! I won't do it again..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes began to well-up with tears and Charles sighed lovingly, reaching out a gloved hand to wipe a loose tear away.

"I don't want you to get hurt." He whispered softly as he placed his hand on her cheek, watching her as she leaned into his hand. "And you won't be leaving me. I won't let you remember?" He added smiling at her and Raven hiccupped a laugh as she stared at her brother.

"I remember." Raven acknowledged softly and taking a deep, steadying breath, she stepped away from her brother and over to the others who were watching anxiously. "How far away do you need us to be?" Raven asked, her voice level and her posture composed; every bit the professional in a war she shouldn't have to be a part of.

"Well, if our teleporter friend here is willing, as far as you can get from Cuba whilst still being in the United States." Charles answered as he gestured to Azazel who nodded at the telepath.

"I am." Azazel said quietly and Charles smiled.

"Excellent." The telepath said as he returned his gaze to the others and he couldn't help but add. "Preferably somewhere where there's a hospital nearby for Banshee." And though he couldn't see it with his own eyes, he saw Azazel nod through the eyes of the others around him. "Brilliant. You'd best be going then."

"I'm staying." Erik said firmly, refusing to look away when Charles' gaze snapped on to him. _'And don't even thing about making me leave because I will murder you if you do that.'_

Charles smiled and said, his voice coloured with amusement. "I wouldn't have it any other way my friend." _'Because you mean more to me than words could possibly describe and making you go would break me in ways I don't wish to think about.'_ Charles thought but he kept that thought to himself as Erik came to stand next him.

 

* * *

 

Azazel, Riptide and Angel walked over towards the others and Azazel silently held out his red hand. Raven looked at the red mutant questioningly and Azazel explained. "We must all be in contact in order to teleport."

Nodding, Raven silently reached out and gripped Azazel's hand without any preamble and the others gripped her hand, Beast and Havok holding onto Banshee as Moira held Angel's hand. Azazel looked at Raven who nodded again and said. "Go on."

A heartbeat later a loud "crack!" sounded on the beach and Erik looked to see that the children and the other mutants had disappeared, leaving rapidly disappearing wisps of smoke in their wake.

"Looks like it's just us now." Erik said solemnly as he returned his attention to Shaw.

"Let's get on with this then." Charles answered as he took a breath and reached out with his mind, searching through Shaw's mind for the power the madman had consumed less than an hour beforehand. He frowned in concentration as he dug though the myriad of thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories the madman had within his head; it was almost overwhelming for Shaw had lived far longer than any person had any real right to, and the man had left a trail of pain, death and despair throughout the ages. It was... agonising and heartbreaking because Charles knew that Shaw had shaped a lot of human history since the turn of the century. Eventually though, after what felt like years of searching but had only been mere minutes, Charles found the source of Shaw's power and he recoiled instinctively from it because it _burned_. It was burning and boiling and it felt _alive_. Quickly pulling out Charles took a deep, calming breath as Erik stared at him in concern.

"There's too much power in him for this to work. If I linked his power to the stasis he would _still_ be in stasis a hundred years from now, maybe even longer." Charles sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "The only way to do this is if I siphon off some of his power into myself and that _should_ allow the remaining power and stasis to naturally come to an end in a couple of decades." Looking at Erik he elaborated seeing his friends concern and confusion. "The energy would be harmless, in fact, I _highly_ doubt it would do anything but make me seem as if I were running on adrenalin. And if the stasis came to an end within the next hundred years, which is certainly will if I siphon off some of his power, then his mind will die as he body fails on him. He won't ever come back and he'll never be a threat to anyone _ever again_."

Erik stared at his friend in disbelief. He couldn't belief what Charles was suggesting. Was he insane? Shaw's power, the raw energy the man thrived upon, had already caused Charles injury – Erik remembered the marks on his friends chest, hidden by his suit and he knew that his friend didn't relish the idea of absorbing more of Shaw's harmful energy. "Charles-" He started but his friend cut him off, uncharacteristically angry.

"No Erik! There is no other way! I _have_ to do this otherwise millions will _suffer_!" Charles voice rose and he stared at his friend with wide eyes, no, not wide, 'wild' eyes. His friend had obviously seen something in Shaw's mind that terrified him and was making him take risks.

"Charles you cannot do this! How much power would you have to take to make this work?" Erik challenged as he stepped closer to his friend. "I'm betting it'll be too much for you to handle." He said and Charles glared at him.

"I can handle it." Charles bit out and Erik snorted in disbelief.

"Really? Are you sure? Or is that arrogance speaking before reason my friend?" Erik argued as Charles continued to glare at him darkly.

"I _have_ to do this Erik." Charles said firmly as he turned away from his friend. Erik wanted to grab him by his shoulders and shake him. He wanted to put some sense in his friends head but he didn't know if there was any sense of reason that applied to _this_. Suddenly something in his mind clicked and Erik could have laughed at how _simple_ it was.

"But you don't have to do it alone." Erik argued softly as he reached out a hand and placed it on Charles' shoulder. "If you absorb most of the siphoned off energy on your own you're likely to burn up. But if we both absorb it then we're more likely to survive."

Charles shook his head. "No. It's too dangerous." He started to say but Erik cut him off as he stepped closer to his friend and stared intensely in to Charles' eyes.

"No more dangerous than you taking in more than you can handle. If we do this together then we're both more likely to survive." Erik stared intently at his friend as Charles stared at him, his face unintelligible and Erik was worried in case his friend said no. He didn't want to see Charles suffer anymore, and he didn't want to lose his closest, his first, friend. _'I care too much to lose you.'_ He thought, hoping Charles wasn't reading his mind but he didn't look away as Charles blushed.

Charles stared at Erik as his thoughts rushed around his mind chaotically. Half of them were for Erik's idea, the more rational part of him on the side of sharing the power, but the other half were screaming for him to say "no!" because Erik could be hurt and he couldn't handle it if he caused Erik any pain. But... if he took all the siphoned off power into himself he'd likely die and his death would hurt Erik...

Whatever choice he chose, he couldn't avoid causing Erik pain, the only difference between them would be the fact that one type of pain, Erik would be willing to feel whilst the other he would hate him for. Charles blinked and in that moment, that brief moment after he heard Erik's thought, Charles made his choice.

"Alright." He whispered and Erik breathed a sigh of relief. "But you're going to have to follow my lead and listen to everything I say." He warned and Erik nodded in agreement as Charles lifted a hand and grasped Erik's hand in his own. "First of all. Do not break contact with me. No matter what."

Erik stared at their entwined hands for a moment before looking up at his friends face and couldn't help but think. _'Should I give you a bear hug instead?'_ And he smirked when Charles' blush deepened. _'Or I could-'_

' _Hand holding is perfectly sufficient for this.'_ Charles thought firmly and Erik grinned. _'Now, if you're finished teasing me do you think we could get on with this?'_

' _Of course. Lead the way genius.'_ Erik said, his words solemn but there was an undercurrent of humour in them which made Charles roll his eyes at him.

 

* * *

 

"Where are we?" Havok asked as he looked around the clearing Azazel had teleported them too. Havok looked over at Azazel questioningly.

Azazel sighed and wondered why he had agreed to any of this. He didn't like these children and they didn't like him but that was the result of circumstance, just like his teleportation of them was. "I do not know exactly but I do know there is a hospital that way." He pointed behind Beast who was hunched over the still unconscious Banshee. "It is not far, about ten minutes walking distance." He added as Raven looked in the direction he had pointed.

"Right." Moira said. "I'll go with Banshee and Havok to the hospital to get him treated." She looked around at the mutants and said firmly. "No fighting." Raven and Beast nodded at her and the other three mutants nodded in acquiescence as well. Moira cast them another glance as she helped Havok support Banshee before they began to amble off in the direction of the hospital.

In the small clearance there was silence for a long time until Raven broke it and asked. "Anyone up for Truth or Dare?"

They groaned and Azazel looked at her for a long moment before saying. "I am returning to the beach so they shall have a way out." He cast Angel and Riptide a glance before adding with a slight smile. "It will beat playing Truth or Dare at any rate."

Before anyone could say anything against him, Azazel teleported, the "crack!" of his teleport echoing around the clearing.

 

* * *

 

Erik spun around when Azazel teleported back onto the beach, but he didn't let go of Charles' hand who also turned to look at the teleporter. "Thank you for returning Azazel. How thoughtful of you." Charles said politely, smiling at the red mutant who simply nodded. "Though it might be a good idea if you stood quite the way back." He added and Azazel teleported again so that he was standing on the edge of the trees on the opposite side of the beach. Charles sighed and muttered. "Good enough."

Erik looked at Charles again and Charles looked at him. "Shall we?" The British man asked with a nervous smile on his face.

"Definitely." Erik replied and the next thing he knew he was being sucked into a world of sound, light, colour, screams, tears and hate. In short, he was being pulled by Charles into Shaw's mind on their hunt for the madman's power.

 

* * *

 

"Well _that_ was anticlimactic." Erik muttered as he stood next to his friend... on the beach still. "We're still on the beach. Are you sure you did it right Charles?"

Charles turned and gave Erik a hard glare. "Of course I did. And we're not on _the_ beach anymore. We're on the one in Shaw's mind." Charles pointed at something behind Erik who turned around. "Since I'm quite certain that on the _real_ beach there weren't any surgical instruments."

"Oh." Erik breathed out as he watched the instruments warily. "He can't harm us whilst we're in here can he?" He asked suddenly, quickly glancing at Charles. In the brief moment that he took his eyes off the instruments they shot at him and Charles let out a cry of surprise as he instinctively grabbed his friend and dragged him to the ground.

The instruments shot over their heads and Charles' gaze snapped onto them as they spun around and came at them again. "Does that answer your question?" Charles cried out as he rolled to the side as a scalpel embedded itself in the sand right where his arm had been.

"What do we do?" Erik exclaimed as another scalpel nicked his suit on his forearm. He scrambled backwards and tried to keep all of the instruments in sight as they flew around the two of them, now back-to-back.

"I don't know!" Charles replied in frustration as a saw made its way toward his legs. "Run!" He shouted and the two of them scrambled to their feet and took off towards the trees. "If we find the core of his power we should be able to stop him."

Should?" Erik called back to his friend who shot him one hell of a glare.

"Do you have a better idea because if you do I would _love_ to hear it!" Charles shouted as he dived to the floor and the pair of scissors aiming for him landed with a dull 'thud' in the sand. He jumped to his feet and pelted after Erik into the trees on the edge of the beach.

As they ran through the trees Erik glanced behind them and began to slow down when he realised the instruments were nowhere to be seen. "Charles." He breathed out as he slowed to a stop and his friend ran into his back. "I think they're gone."

"Just because you _think_ they're gone doesn't mean they are Erik. This is Shaw's mind, we don't know what we'll come across." Charles reminded his friend as he climbed to his feet after falling to the ground from his impromptu collision with Erik's back.

"Where's the core?" Erik asked, huffing in frustration as he looked about them. "And did you encounter any of this the first time you entered his mind?" He added looking at Charles who shook his head.

"No." Charles sighed and looked around them also. "I was able to enter Shaw's mind without becoming part of the decor, but I was alone then and I suppose that bringing in another mind of a person who isn't a telepath has resulted us being in Shaw's mind enough for him to manipulate his thoughts to affect us directly." Charles looked at Erik who raised an eyebrow at him. "Because you're not a telepath we've had to enter the actual consciousness of Shaw's mind and that means we're at his mercy until we can find the core of his power." He clarified and Erik rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Great." The mutant muttered. "Well, which way genius?" He asked sarcastically and Charles sighed in exasperation.

Pushing his annoyance to the back of his mind, Charles focused on routing out Shaw's core where the madman's power resided. Closing his eyes he began to follow the trails of thoughts, his mind flitting over Shaw's own with barely any altercation, and eventually he found the core. Opening his eyes he sighed and looked at Erik for a moment before looking back towards the beach. "Towards the sub." He answered and Erik frowned.

"The sub?" He repeated for clarification and Charles nodded. "What about those surgical instruments?" He asked and Charles shrugged.

"I guess we'll improvise." The telepath answered before setting off back towards the beach. Erik huffed silently and followed after his friend.

"Oh yes, improvise. It's not like that's what we've been doing for a while now is it?" He muttered sarcastically and shook his head at what they were doing. They were going to get themselves killed.

' _No we're not!'_ Charles thought to his friend who glared at the telepath's back. _'I don't think.'_

 

* * *

 

"They've been gone for a while." Raven said worriedly as she paced along the length of the clearing. Beast was sat on a fallen tree, trying to resist the urge to clean his paws, whilst Riptide and Angel sat on the floor of the clearing away from the two X-Men.

"It's been five minutes Raven." Beast pointed out as he looked up at the pacing blue girl and sighed. He didn't understand why she was worrying so much, alright, that was a lie because he was worrying just as much, but he didn't understand why she thought mentioning it aloud would help in any way.

Raven clicked her tongue in worry and continued her fretful pacing when Angel said quietly. "Chill out Raven. They're fine." The girl, woman, girl looked at the blue mutant who stopped pacing and turned to look at her.

"No thanks to you!" Raven exclaimed as she took a step towards her and Beast hopped off the tree trunk and moved to stand behind Raven, ready to restrain her if necessary. Angel looked away from Raven, shame and guilt written on her features and Riptide placed a comforting hand on her arm.

"No. This is Shaw's fault." Beast said firmly as he placed a restraining hand on Raven's shoulder, he could feel her trembling and he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her close and comfort her. "Shaw's manipulation has brought this about, we were merely pawns in his game."

"We had a choice." Riptide countered quietly and they all looked at the man who had been silent up till now. Angel was surprised because she had always assumed that the tornado-creating mutant couldn't speak and here he was, _talking_. And he had a nice, low and soft voice that was in direct contrast with his ability. "What Shaw promised us, each of us, may have helped our decisions but we could have still said no. So we are all responsible, just some moreso."

Riptide looked at Beast who nodded in agreement and Angel looked at Raven. "Hate me all you want Raven, you every right to, but believe me when I say I'm sorry. I just wanted to be happy." Angel's voice tapered off as she looked down at her hands and fidgeted.

"You were happy with us!" Raven exclaimed and Beast tightened his grip on her shoulder slightly, just enough to stop her from moving closer to Angel. "You were in that room with us all those weeks ago and we were all happy!"

"No I wasn't!" Angel argued, her voice raising as she stood up and Riptide climbed to his feet behind her. "I didn't know any of you! I didn't know if any of you would look at me like I was a freak once the surprise at meeting others wore off!" Angel shook her head angrily as tears began to well in her eyes. Riptide placed a hand on her arm lightly as she continued, her voice vulnerable and tired. "I'm tired of hiding who I am Raven." Hanging her head in shame Angel began to silently cry, her sobs wracking her body and Riptide rubbed her arm in his attempt to comfort her.

Raven sighed, her anger draining away from her, and she stepped forward when Beast let go of her shoulder. Stepping up in front of Angel, Raven reached out a hand and lifted Angel's chin slightly. "And you think we're not Angel? Any of us?" Raven asked softly. "I was left in an orphanage Angel, I never knew my parents because of how I looked. I was feared by other children who didn't know what I was, I was feared by adults. Angel, don't you think I would have given _anything_ to have been normal? Don't you think we _all_ want to be accepted and loved?"

Angel didn't answer and Raven wrapped her arms around the crying girl who clung to her desperately. "Maybe normal people won't accept us now but one day, _some_ day, they will. One day mutants and humans will live in peace and we won't have to hide _ever_ again."

Angel sobbed into Raven's shoulder and through her sobs Raven heard her ask, her voice quiet and vulnerable. "But why can't we be accepted _now_?"

Raven sighed and pulled back slightly so that she could see the other girls face. "Because." She started and waited for Angel's eyes to catch her own. "Because none of us are really ready yet."

 

* * *

 

Standing on the edge of the tree line, Azazel watched in silence as the ships from the two fleets continued to move into position. Though Azazel wasn't an official naval officer as such, he could still tell that the fleets were moving so that they could get a clear shot at the beach and the two men standing upon it. Azazel didn't know them, not really, though he knew their names and a bit about them. But though he knew little he still knew enough to realise that these two men were something that Shaw had _never_ been. Good.

The telepath, whose silent screams had kept Azazel awake for days on the sub, was battling to save everyone even when he was so tired; it was obvious in the way the man's hands shook almost imperceptibly and how there were creases in his youthful face brought on by the ghost pain he could still feel. Azazel may have done many dishonourable things in his life but he knew that the most dishonourable, the most _inhuman_ thing he had ever done, was to have taken this bright, innocent, _kind_ man from his family and delivered him into Shaw's poisoned embrace.

And the metal manipulator, the one who Shaw had caused so much pain to in the past. Azazel wasn't sure how to feel about him, wasn't sure if he wanted to be associated with him because, though he tried not to show it, there was a darkness in him like that was present in Shaw. It made Azazel nervous because he understood that darkness, Azazel shared that darkness; it was the shadows of the past, of a past that made you want to scream and shout and make the world _burn_. Oh yes, Azazel knew it far too well and he was afraid of the metal manipulator for his knowledge of the others own weakness. But, for all his fearing of the other mutant, Azazel could still acknowledge the fact that, as long as the telepath was his friend, the metal manipulator would never become what Shaw had intended for him to be. A weapon.

As long as Charles stayed with Erik and Erik with Charles, neither would become monsters. And Azazel prayed that they would never part ways till death. Because he didn't want to live in a world where they were enemies.

Just as he was about to teleport to them and get them the hell off the beach, the two men suddenly moved. From their previously frozen positions, standing side-by-side in front of Shaw, Erik fell backwards with a cry, his hand slipping out of Charles' own, as Charles collapsed to the ground and curled up into a ball.

"Azazel!" Erik cried out as he scrambled over to his friend and wrapped his arms around Charles' shaking body. Looking towards the tree-line Erik spotted Azazel just on the edge of the trees and he blinked. A loud _"crack!"_ echoed on the beach and Azazel was suddenly crouching down next to Erik as his eyes opened. Before he could even say the words, Azazel placed a red hand on Erik's shoulder and the three of them teleported off the beach just as the ships out in the ocean fired their missiles onto an empty beach. Save for the permanently frozen Shaw of course.

 

* * *

 

"What happened?" Beast asked seriously as he knelt down next to the still shaking Charles in Erik's arms. Looking up at Erik's face, Beast thought that the other man was going into shock he was so pale. Looking into Erik's eyes Beast saw that his friend was panicking and terrified and afraid and so many other things that Beast wanted to say something to try and calm him, but didn't know what he could say. So, instead he asked. "Erik. What happened?"

"Don't touch him." Erik whispered, his words strained as he tried to concentrate. "Don't touch him." He repeated and Beast frowned.

"I need to check him over." Beast explained as he reached out a hand and he growled in surprise when the metal on his suit was suddenly subject to Erik's power. Flying backwards and landing on his back, Beast suppressed the growl building in his throat, now was not the time for instinct to kick in.

"Don't touch him!" Erik shouted, his voice filled with so much fear and pain that Beast felt guilty for trying to make sure Charles was alright. He didn't know why Erik didn't want him to touch the professor but something was telling him that ignoring the metal manipulator right now would not end well.

"Alright." Beast said as he knelt a few feet away from Erik. "I won't, I promise." He held out his paws in a placating gesture and he watched as Erik's shoulders relaxed slightly. "But you need to check his pulse."

Erik nodded and with a trembling hand he reached out and placed two fingers on Charles' neck. His friends pulse was thready and fast, jittering and spluttering as whatever had happened to him took its toll. Not looking at Beast, Erik said softly. "It's fast and jumpy." He didn't pay attention to the any of them after that as he began to speak, his words strained and guilt-ridden. "I don't know what happened... we contained Shaw and were coming out when something changed... and the next thing I know I'm falling backwards and I can hear Charles screaming in my mind... I don't understand."

"We need to get back to the mansion." Beast said firmly. Looking at Azazel he asked the teleporter. "Could you take us there?"

"Yes. But someone will have to tell me the address." Azazel replied and Beast nodded his head in agreement. "They need to be looked after." Azazel added quietly enough for Beast to hear and he looked at the red mutant. "I may have been with Shaw but I am with you now and I care for those I am with." The red mutant explained as he saw Beast's questioning gaze.

"Raven." Beast said looking at the distraught sister of Charles Xavier. Upon hearing her name she looked up at Beast and he continued. "You need to tell Moira that we're going to the mansion and to call us when she and Banshee are ready." Raven looked like she was about to argue but he added. "I can't go Raven, look at me."

Raven blinked and wiped away the tears still rolling down her cheeks. "Right." She croaked as she composed herself. "Right. Sorry. I'll go now." She added, her voice as level as she could make it but Beast could still hear the slight tremor in it.

"Thank you. We'll wait for you." Beast added and he watched as Raven quickly transformed into her blonde self and took off at a run in the direction of the hospital. Turning to look at Azazel he recited the address for the mansion.

They waited in silence for Raven to return and, whilst they waited they listened to the quiet murmurs from Erik echoing around the clearing as the mutant whispered words that they couldn't make out to the still shaking telepath.

It felt like an age had passed when Raven returned, grasping her side as she tried to breathe through the stitch in her side. She reached out to take Angel's hand as they all silently linked hands and Beast lightly placed a hand on Erik's shoulder, feeling the man tense up slightly at the contact. A heartbeat later a loud _"crack!"_ emanated from where they were standing in the clearing and they disappeared from sight.

 

* * *

 

 

_Lights flashed and rain lashed, fast and slow it made no sense. The sound of frantic breathing and the sounds of bodies heaving, all the time never leaving. It won't stop and it won't falter, and across his face a chain-mail halter. Stops him dead, nearly pulls of his head. Falling down, he's falling down and he can't get up as the water comes up and he's going to drown. Screaming out in silent wood, there's monkeys in the trees and they're up to no good. He's alone and lost in here and all his has is his fear as a snake rises from the poisoned sand. Wraps itself around his hand, pulls him down onto a metal slab, restraints reach for him as they grab his flailing arms and kicking feet. Tied down again, it's all a dream. This isn't how it went, but he will still scream when a hand reaches out and grips his shoulder tight._

And his eyes snap open as he bolts upright. Blinking around himself, his heart beating like an 808 drum, he scrambled from between the sheets and headed for the little source of light from the bathroom. The water on his skin from the tap was cool and refreshing, grounding even. He looked at himself in the little mirror, hands gripping the sides of the sink tightly, and he stared at the face that he knows is his own but those eyes... those eyes can't possibly be his. His eyes aren't that haunted are they?

"Charles!" A voice sounded from the bedroom door and he sighed. He's done it again hasn't he? Damn his telepathic powers. "Charles!" The voice called again and there's naked fear and worry in it so Charles left the bathroom to open the door.

Erik almost fell through the door he was leaning on it so much, half of his entire body resting on the wood as he listened for sounds of life in Charles' room. "Charles, I heard-" He started as he looked at his friend who held up a hand and cut him off.

"It's alright Erik. Just a dream." Charles said trying to find it in himself to muster a smile but he can't find the strength to pretend he's fine. There's no way he could be 'fine' after what they went through almost a week ago in Shaw's mind.

"Bollocks." Erik responded sharply as he stepped up close to his friend, his worry beginning to morph into frustration with his friends' reluctance to let him help. "It is not alright Charles."

Charles sighed and looked away from Erik. He wants to be alone but at the same time he's afraid to be alone. Everytime he's alone with nothing to think about, the memories, the feelings, the nightmares come back and he can't handle them anymore. He needs help but he's terrified to ask his friend in case Erik laughs at him for being weak. Oh, he knows intellectually that Erik would never do that, but it's hard to get past a lifetimes' worth of being the strong, independent leader who never shows any weakness.

"I need a cup of tea." He said suddenly, still not looking at his friend, and he tried to step around Erik but the other man wasn't going to let him get away _that_ easily.

Swiftly Erik reached out and grabbed the front of Charles' pyjamas and hauled him up against the wall. Charles, who didn't expect such an action from his friend, let out a cry of surprise as his back collided with the wall of his room. Instinctively reaching out with both hands, Charles gripped Erik's hands and tried to pry them off but Erik held firm and stared intensely at his friends panicked face. He didn't want to do this with Charles, didn't want his friend to fear him or feel uncomfortable around him, but _damn it_ Charles wouldn't let him in and he had no other choice.

"Erik!" Charles almost squeaked as he swallowed nervously, desperately trying to keep himself as calm as possible. "Erik! Let go of me now!" He stared at his friend, breathing fast and paled when he realised Erik wasn't going to let him go.

"No." Erik replied quietly and firmly. "Not until you _talk_ to me." He stared at Charles intently.

"What? What do you mean? I talk to you all the time!" Charles babbled as he tried to loosen Erik's grip. "In fact I talk to you more than I do Raven and the others!" He added as he realised that the only way he'd get out of Erik's grip would be if unbuttoned his pyjama top and slipped out of it. As subtly as possible, Charles began undoing the buttons as he continued to speak, his voice getting higher in pitch and his speech becoming faster and more panicked. "Just the other day I was talking to you about the improved version of Celebro Hank and I have been working on. And before that, I was talking with you about the best way to adapt the basement for an underground facility."

"No _that_ kind of talking Charles and you know it." Erik butted in quietly as he tightened his grip on Charles' shirt. "You won't speak to me about what happened on the beach. You leave the room whenever one of us brings it up and you haven't been in my head since Shaw." He stared at his friend who had stilled in his movements and, if it was at all possible, had paled even more. "We need to talk Charles." Erik added softly and Charles looked at his friends face.

"I don't want to." Charles whispered and Erik frowned before letting out a quiet cry of surprise as Charles suddenly slipped out of his pyjama shirt and slipped under Erik's arms, bolting out the door before Erik could stop him.

"Charles!" Erik shouted as he took off after his friend, silently thankful for the fact that they were the only two sleeping in the west wing of the castle and the others were all on separate floors. "Charles stop!" He shouted out as he raced to catch up with his friend.

Charles, for the most part, ignored Erik's pleas and continued pelting down the corridors towards the main staircase but before he could reach them, the doors separating the corridor and the staircase slammed shut and he collided with them. Hard. Falling backwards he landed on his back as Erik managed to reach him. Before he could scramble to his feet again, Erik threw himself to the floor besides Charles and wrestled with him until he was straddled over his friend and had his hands pinned to the floor.

Panting heavily Erik growled. " _Stop_ running away from me Charles." He took a breath to try and calm himself and continued. "I just want to help you." And he really did. Erik hated the fact that for the last week, every single night, Charles would wake up, silently screaming for him and _everytime_ he got to his friend, he would be turned away because Charles was too afraid to let him in. He didn't know _what_ Charles had seen or experienced in Shaw's mind but he knew it wasn't good. For the most part, he knew that Charles had shielded him as best he could when they'd got separated in the madman's mind – how, he didn't know but _he_ wasn't the one having nightmares that he refused to talk about. It made him angry and sad at the same time because his friend was obviously suffering in silence and no matter _how_ many times Erik had offered to listen Charles had ignored his words and sent him away.

Charles stared up at Erik, fear, panic and resignation at the situation the most prominent feelings being expressed by his eyes and he didn't know what to _do_. He didn't want to talk, he was _afraid_ of talking about what had happened to him. Hell, he didn't even _know_ exactly what had happened to him whilst they'd been in Shaw's mind. He remembered snippets of the time there, brief flashes that always were muddled and confused but so clear with the emotions he'd been feeling at the time that they made him feel physically sick. He knew he couldn't tell Erik because the other man already had reason enough to end Shaw, if he told him what the madman had done to him then he feared he'd lose his friend entirely to revenge and hatred. But he also realised that if he didn't tell Erik _something_ then he, himself, would be forcing his friend to leave because Erik wouldn't be able to handle the knowledge that Charles didn't trust him enough to _talk_ to him.

"Alright." Charles whispered, shutting his eyes as he accepted the fact that he had to talk to Erik now. There was no going back, no regrets from this point on. He would tell Erik what he needed to know and answer his questions. He would talk for his friends sake and not his own. "Alright... I'll tell you what happened."

 

* * *

 

Sitting in silence, neither man looked at each other, choosing instead to avoid acknowledging the other whilst Charles tried to organise his mind and Erik tried to calm his. Though Charles hadn't even began to explain what he'd gone through in Shaw's mind – protecting Erik from the majority of Shaw's vindictive nature – the very knowledge that Charles has suffered for _him_ was more than enough to make Erik's blood boil, and it was only through sheer-will that none of the metallic objects in the west wing of the mansion didn't contort and fold in on themselves. For Charles, the impending conversation was going to be one of the most painful and hard-hitting of conversations he'd ever have to have in his entire life.

Charles was no stranger to pain, though perhaps more a stranger than Erik, and he knew he could handle the psychosomatic pain as well as the emotional but he understood the _need_ in Erik to let him in. And _that_ pain, the pain he felt from Erik whenever he'd turned the man away – after crying out for him in panicked desperation – was why he was revealing everything Shaw had done to him, both physically whilst in his 'care' and psychologically whilst trapped in the madman's mind.

"I." Charles licked his lips and Erik's head snapped up, his stormy eyes focusing intently on Charles', still turned away, face. "I don't know where to start exactly with this but..." He tried to find the words to express his thoughts and for a moment he considered just _showing_ Erik what he meant, but he wouldn't do that because then Erik would feel what he had and he would _not_ do that to his friend. "I remember driving my father's car down the country lane towards the town."

Erik stared at Charles, silently imploring the telepath to look at him but either Charles' was ignoring his thoughts or had shut himself off from Erik's mind. Both suggestions caused a jolt of physical pain to shoot through Erik's heart but he pushed past it, focusing instead on Charles' words and trying to keep himself as calm as he could manage. Even if Charles wasn't listening to his thoughts, Erik knew that the telepath would _feel_ his emotions as clearly as one would feel a pinch on their arm.

"Something crossed the road in front of me and I nearly crashed the car, my father would have been so disappointed in me if I had of done." Charles' voice filtered through the silent private library adjoining his bedroom, each word sounding disjointed and Erik realised that it was taking a lot of effort on Charles' part to simply _say_ them aloud. "I climbed out the car, searching for whatever it was that I'd seen, I was an idiot. An arrogant, ignorant, naive fool to have got out. I should have returned to the estate or continued on into town." Charles reprimanded himself and, though it hurt Erik to do so, he refrained from speaking – knowing from past experience that if he were to interrupt his friend now, then Charles would find it even harder to continue with his story.

"Something hit me over the head and the next time I'm aware of anything I'm strapped down... to uh.. a table in the mirror-room." Charles' voice cracked slightly and Erik's anger began to rise to the surface again, but he saw how Charles instinctively flinched – the telepath obviously feeling Erik's anger – and it was enough for the anger to dispel for now and be replaced with guilt, self-loathing and overwhelming sadness. The beautiful, bright and vibrant man that had pulled him from his watery grave all those months ago was not the same man he saw before him now. This was not the Charles Xavier he knew and he hated the fact that his friend was changed, perhaps even permanently.

"Uh..." Erik's mind snapped back to Charles and he listened closely to his friends next words, realising that this was a point where Charles' was at the _true_ precipice in their conversation; his friend could stop here, bow-out of the conversation and hide-away even longer from what he'd experienced if he chose to stop now. A part of Erik wanted him to, he wanted Charles to _not_ tell him, to _not_ speak of what was done to him because it would make it more real and Erik was sure that it would damage _him_ just as much as it had damaged Charles. But there was a larger part of him, the dominant part that had resulted in the confrontation earlier on – the part of him that had caused his to use physical force to stop his friend from running away _again_ because words had failed him and _all_ he had left was force when the words were used up – that _had_ to know _everything_ his friend, his oh so very special, so very good and so much better than him, friend had gone through. And that was why Erik held his breath as he waited for Charles to start or stop here and now.

"S-Shaw killed a small girl..." Charles choked out, his voice as broken as his heart and Erik felt it as Charles' control, his self-made barrier between them, began to break down and his emotions began to permeate the room. "He killed her b-because I was too slow... because I w-waited too long..." Charles hiccupped as he clenched his hands tightly and somewhere far below them in the mansion, the furniture in his parents' bedroom began to shake violently. "And then he moved on to other people, innocent people. I don't know h-how many anymore..." Charles shook his head and Erik leaned closer towards his friend slightly, the tips of his fingers lightly brushing against Charles' arm. He felt Charles tense at the contact but he didn't pull away and Erik counted that as being a small victory on his part, but the cost was far too great for him to revel in it for long. Especially when Charles began to speak again.

"He came to me one day and... and said he wanted t-to play surgeon... _Herr Docktor_..." Erik tensed himself at those two words and he blinked rapidly as he fought to keep himself under-control, forcing himself to focus on Charles and what his friend needed from him now. "He used his p-power to remove my internal organs... he w-wanted him to repeat my _little stint with telekinesis_." Erik heard the mocking sarcasm in Charles' voice and he ran the tips of his fingers over Charles' white knuckles, trying to offer silent comfort to his friend for he dared not speak lest he disturbed Charles' determination to _talk_.

"He killed so many people... innocent... kind people..." Charles said as he finally turned his head and locked eyes with Erik's own. What the metal manipulator saw in his friends gaze made him want to take Charles into his embrace and never let him go. Anguish. Pain. Self-loathing. Self- _hatred_.

"But he called them 'inferior'..." Charles snarled, staring directly into Erik's eyes, trying to speak to him without words or thoughts and Erik understood. How could he _not_? He had been called 'inferior' in his life, considered to be the lowest of the low and worthless except for his power. And he realised that Charles was _still_ trying to teach him even when the telepath was so spectacularly damaged, scarred, beaten and worn-down but not broken. No... Charles' was not broken and maybe, on the outside, he looked like he was but Erik saw in his friends _eyes_. Erik looked into the watery-blue orbs staring at him and he saw just _how strong_ Charles Xavier really was. This was a man who could weather _any_ thing, survive everything that life threw at him, not because he could, but because he _had to_ ; for everyone's sake. Erik saw how afraid Charles was of _himself_ , how fearful Charles was of the power that had so enthralled Shaw and Erik finally understood _why_ his friend always argued for mutant-human integration rather than extermination. Charles quite literally had the power to start, and finish, a war. And it terrified him _so much_ that he shied away from it and built walls and barriers and lived by the rules of a 'Good Man' so strongly, so desperately, just so he wouldn't become what Shaw had only dreamed of being.

"He called them 'inferior' and justified their deaths like he was above mankind, like he was a God..." Charles whispered and his soft words brought Erik's attention back to his friend. "He accused me of being a God who was trying to be a man." Charles laughed sardonically, the harsh sound cutting into Erik more than any blade had ever done. "He tried to make me _join_ him... thought t-that if he k-killed enough people in front of me, that I'd f-fall at his feet and thank him!"

Erik growled as anger rose within him again, and though he saw Charles flinch at the feeling bleeding through to him, Erik found that he couldn't push it back down now. In Charles' parents room the large, oak, four-poster, king-sized bed was levitating three-feet off the ground and the curtains were beginning to dissolve as Charles continued to speak.

"But you can... you freed me and we were safe, I was safe, but the world wasn't." Charles whispered, his words quiet but the feeling behind them so strong that, if he hadn't have been sitting already, they would have knocked Erik off his feet. Relief, adoration, gratitude, _love_. "I couldn't leave the world in Shaw's hands... I couldn't leave you at his hands..."

"So we entered his mind together." Erik supplied, finally breaking his silence as he realised that Charles wasn't going to stop now, when he realised that Charles _couldn't_ stop now. His friend didn't have the will to stop now he was in so deep.

"Yes." Charles' muffled voice reached his ears as the telepath buried his head into his arm resting on the arm of the chair he was seated in. "And he chased us. Chased you and I... I-I couldn't let him h-hurt you again..." Charles muttered, heart-break and emotional agony crystal clear in every word. "So I put up any barriers I could, diverted his attention, let him chase m-me instead..."

"You shouldn't have done that Charles." Erik said solemnly and he slid out of his chair just enough for his hand to wrap itself around Charles' fist.

"I wanted to." Charles said, his voice quiet and vulnerable but with a hint of steel behind it, as he lifted his head to look at his friend. "I didn't w-want him to hurt you again Erik... he hurt you enough when you were a boy."

Erik swallowed thickly, trying to get his feelings under-control as he tightened his grasp on Charles' hand a little. "And he hurt you more than I care bear knowing about." Erik countered softly, anguish in his voice and he watched as Charles shifted in his chair slightly so he was facing Erik directly. "You have no idea how much it hurt me to see you in pain my friend. I would have gladly taken your place if I could have."

"But that is something I did not, still don't, wish for." Charles croaked as he leaned forward, the hand that had been gripping the armrest coming to rest on Erik's knee. "I will gladly take all the pain that S-Shaw could supply unto myself to protect you Erik." Charles stared imploringly into his friends eyes and he smiled slightly, trying to inject some humour into their serious conversation. "Raven tells me it's a character-flaw of mine; the self-sacrificial lamb if you will."

"But you're not a lamb are you Charles?" Erik asked, his voice low and raw. Charles frowned at his friend, his mind feeling... not lighter per say, but clearer and sharper, than it had felt in months. "You don't sacrifice yourself out of blissful ignorance or innocence even do you? You give yourself up to protect others because you believe that it's the best way to keep them safe; from whatever you give yourself to _and_ yourself."

Charles opened his mouth to counter Erik, to argue with him, to tell him he was _wrong_ , but he couldn't bring himself to form the words aloud because Erik _wasn't_ wrong. Erik was so right, so accurate that it scared Charles a little to think that his friend could _see_ him that easily.

"You can't even deny it can you?" Erik asked, leaning closer towards his friend face to stare intensely into Charles' blue orbs that were twinkling with surprise, fear and... acceptance? "I wondered why I never saw you training yourself. I watched you as you helped Sean, Alex, Hank, Raven and myself with our powers daily, but you never tested yourself when we were around did you? You were too afraid of hurting us. Maybe you weren't consciously aware of it, but you knew how dangerous you could be if you let go, if you tapped into the well of _power_ inside you. So you didn't dare try." Erik titled his head to the side as Charles continued to stare at him, wide-eyed in surprise and something else... something that Erik _couldn't_ identify.

"And you never would have tried would you? Never would have touched what you locked away from even yourself had it not been for Shaw." Erik said, ignoring the way Charles flinched instinctively at the sound of the madman's name. "You unlocked a part of yourself that terrifies you, not for the world, not to protect humanity, not to save the children, but because Shaw was threatening _me_."

Charles blinked and tried to look away from his friend but Erik's free hand rose and still his head as the calloused palm rest on his cheekbone. "Is _that_ what Shaw did to you in his mind?" Erik whispered, staring desperately into Charles' gaze. "Did Shaw show you, me at his mercy... is that why you took all that pain?"

Charles squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to calm his breathing as it began to accelerate.

' _Erik crying out for him. "Charles! Charles help me!"_

" _Erik!" Charles cries back, spinning in circles, searching for his friend but only finding mirrors. Mirrors all around him and suddenly he was tied down on the metal slab again._

" _Hello Charlie-boy." Shaw's voice drifts around him, through him, and he trashes against the restraints. "Guess who I found?"_

_A body appears on the floor, slumped over, unmoving and Charles strains to reach for his friend. "Erik! No Erik!"_

" _I told you Charlie-boy." Shaw laughed darkly as a burning palm landed on his chest. "You will help me destroy the world... and Erik is the key to making you do that."_

" _ERIK!" Charles screamed out and roared a primal howl, full of anger, hate and fear for his friend. And everything began to burn away as his power consumed him and he watched Erik's body burn, boil, twist and dissolve into nothing.'_

"Yes." Charles whispered, his voice breaking around the single syllable and Erik growled as Charles began to cry. Silently. Like a child does when they don't want to be noticed, like a child does when their parents are angry at them or don't care and they've learn that no-one cares if they cry, only find it frustrating and pathetic.

"Oh Charles." Erik breathed out, sounding just as broken as Charles, as he slipped out of his chair and embraced Charles in a strong, warm, comforting embrace. The younger man clung to him desperately, as he buried his head in Erik's shoulder and his entire body was wrought with his sobs. "I am so sorry my friend." Erik whispered into Charles' hair, impulsively placing a kiss on his head. "I promise you. I promise Charles that whatever Shaw showed you will _never_ come to pass."

"You don't know that." Charles croaked as he gripped Erik tightly. "You don't know what I did." He added, his voice so quiet and muffled that Erik had to strain to hear it. "I made _you_ burn... I made it all burn..."

Erik blinked as he finally understood why he had been roughly thrown out of Shaw's mind just as he reached the core of the man's power. Erik realised that Charles had been so close to the edge of his control, right to his limit, and with the last vestiges of his control he'd pushed Erik out just moments after the metal manipulator had tapped into Shaw's power source. "I don't care." Erik said firmly as he lifted Charles' head up and stared intently at his friend's tear-stained face. "I don't care because I know _you_ Charles. You could _never_ hurt me no matter what you think and I could never hurt you because... because I love you."

 

* * *

 

_Because I love you..._ What are you meant to say to that exactly? What words can you use to explain how you feel towards someone who is so bold, so determined, to not let you push them away? What can you do except join the Roman Army on its march? What can he do except lean forward slowly, oh so very slowly, and let his lips brush lightly against Erik's own?

A soft, gentle moan rises in his throat and he doesn't stop it as his hands slide along Erik's arms to rest on his shoulders. He can feel Erik's hand on his knee tightening whilst the other slides around Charles' body and he can feel Erik's larger hand resting, splayed, on his lower back. Erik's face is surprised, surprised that he spoke such powerful words, surprised that Charles responded, surprised that this feels so natural and normal and it's like it's _meant to be_.

Neither can deny it now as they stare into the abyss of the other's eyes, luminescent blue clashing with emerald green, darkest day and brightest night, black and white, it's all there in their gaze's and it's only a heartbeat but it feels _oh so_ very long.

Surging forward Erik captures Charles' deceptively soft lips in his own and runs his tongue over the soft, plush flesh as Charles whimpers and wraps one of his hands around Erik's neck as though he fears his friend will pull back. Neither one dares close their eyes but Charles' flicker as he blinks rapidly and Erik nips at his still closed lips, pulling on the soft flesh slightly and causing Charles to moan deeply. As Erik slides closer to Charles' body, ending up kneeling inbetween Charles' open legs, he pushes his tongue against his lips and Charles' lips finally part and allow Erik inside.

Running his tongue along Charles' front teeth, he smirks as Charles groans and slides his hand down Erik's back. Using his extra height to his advantage, Erik pushes his body against Charles' own until his friend is pushed back into his chair and Erik's upper-body covers most of Charles' own. Running a hand down Charles' front, revelling in the feel of quivering muscles beneath the pyjama top his friend wears, Erik finally breaks the kiss between them and nips Charles' jaw making the young telepath gasp. He smirks against Charles' jaw and slips his hand beneath the top, running his calloused hands over the smooth, but firm, planes of Charles' chest, the pads of his fingers brushing against his nipples and causing Charles to try and arch his back but Erik's body pins him down.

And that's where it goes wrong.

Immediately, Charles freezes, muscles tensing as his eyes snap shut and block Erik out. The unlit fire place in the room suddenly sparks with life, a spluttering flame appearing, and the chess pieces are swept off the board by nothing. Erik stops and looks up at his friends face, seeing the naked fear that the young telepath just can't hide, and he carefully, slowly, lifts himself off his friend and moves so that he's still between Charles' legs but he isn't touching his friend at all. Erik is no stranger to this reaction, except he out-grew it years ago, but Charles is still recovering and so Erik tentatively thinks, hoping that his friend is listening to his thoughts. _'Charles... my friend... my love... you are safe now.'_

Charles' eyelids flicker and Erik steels himself and continues to think, knowing, believing, that his friend is listening. _'I am sorry my friend, I did not think but please... forgive me...'_ Hanging his head, unable to look at his friends face anymore Erik continues to think. He hopes Charles is listening, he hopes that his friend can hear his emotions, his feeling, his _love_ for him in his thoughts. _'I love you so much that sometimes it hurts and I think I've loved you for a very long time... probably from the moment you were stupid enough as to dive into freezing water to save a stranger actually... I found myself watching you more and more, and I didn't know how to stop myself... I didn't want to stop... you're fascinating to me... and it's strange because I thought you were weak after I saw you on the deck after we were dragged out of the water... soaking wet and shivering as Raven and Moira fussed around you...'_

 

* * *

 

"Charles!" Raven cried as she dived towards her brother just as he ascended onto the deck of the ship. "You idiot! Are you suicidal?" Raven continued, not allowing her brother to speak as she grabbed his arm and literally dragged him over to where the onboard doctor was standing.

"I'm quite alright Raven, I assure you." Charles said, trying to reassure his sister and subtly slip free of her grip, but she wouldn't let go of him and he sighed. "And no, I'm not suicidal Raven. I resent the implication that I am."

"Then why the hell _did_ you jump into the water? And don't say because there was someone else out there! That is _not_ a justified excuse for nearly dying!" Raven countered as she rounded on him, her eyes flashing yellow in her worried fury. "We _talked_ about this Charles! You don't just do something because you feel you have to!"

"I _knew_ where to look Raven, and I knew what I was doing." Charles countered, his temper rising as he stared at Raven's face. "I couldn't leave him to drown."

"There's more than just you on this damned boat Charles! There are _trained professionals_ who could have saved him. You're here as a consultant Charles, not as a superhero who pulls people from the water." Moira put in as she marched over to the arguing siblings. "Sit down and let the doctor check you over, now."

"Fine!" Charles huffed as he sat down on the bench, Raven following as she refused to relinquish her hold on his arm. "And I _know_ I'm not a superhero." He muttered, just loud enough for Erik's sensitive hearing to pick up as he sat not too far away on the bench.

 

* * *

 

' _It's funny because now I realise that you just hide yourself... from everyone... no-one really knows you do they Charles?'_ Erik sighs and Charles' eyes flicker again as he begins to relax, only Erik doesn't notice as he continues to stare at the ground. _'Do you even realise you do it my friend? I think you do to some degree... but I think you've been hiding yourself away for so long that you've started to believe in your facade. Like Raven but not exactly... Raven's always had you who she can be herself with, you never feared her natural state so she doesn't fall for the facade she puts on for the world. But you haven't had that have you? You've never had anyone who you could trust so implicitly, so explicitly, that you could take off every vestige of the mask you cling to so much... have you?'_

Charles' eyes open slowly, his blinks once. Twice. And then he focuses on the kneeling man at his feet. He frowns and reaches out a hand when Erik continues with his thoughts.

' _What has happened to you Charles? What has happened to you in the past that made you terrified of yourself? I hope nothing my friend... I truly hope you had a brilliant, spoilt childhood where you were loved and cherished... I want that to be true... but it isn't is it?'_

"No. It isn't." Charles rasps and Erik's head snaps up as he stares in surprise at his friend. He sees Erik start to open his mouth, start to _apologise_ and he hastens to cut him off. "I didn't realise I would react like that my friend. I apologise for it." He can see the moment he speaks that it's not what Erik wants to hear, he doesn't want to hear him apologise for a natural, instinctual reaction, but Charles doesn't care about that. He cares about what Erik was speaking of. His friend is far too perceptive for his own good, especially when it comes to Charles.

A part of him wishes to erase such questions from Erik's mind - and he could do it too because he's that powerful – because he hates the fact that _someone_ has noticed what he's spent years trying to hide. He doesn't want to recall his childhood, it would make it so easy for him to be consumed by darkness – moreso than it would Erik – and he daren't try to speak of it, yet he doesn't want Erik to question and concoct his own theories. He doesn't want Erik to go to Raven and ask him questions that might spark memories in her that he wants her to never think of; silly memories, flashes and brief moments when he hadn't been as good at pretending as he is now.

But there's a larger part of him, a bigger, brighter, better and more desperate part that wants Erik to ask him those questions, that wants Erik to push him again until he tells him his story. Tell him about the pain that he knows too well, the hurt and betrayal, the feelings of powerlessness that they both know so well but daren't speak of. And it's that part of him that comes into play when he tentatively reaches out with a minutely trembling hand and presses the tips of his fingers to Erik's temple.

"If you want answers to your questions, then ask me please." Charles whispers quietly, the words trembling and stumbling, as he steadies himself for the refusal, the rebuttal and the acceptance of his request. He knows what Erik will say but he does wish he won't say what Charles knows he will.

"Please Charles." Erik says quietly, his words low and deep, emotional and driven but vulnerable and insecure at the same time. It's a beautiful juxtaposition and Charles smiles sadly because Erik is a walking oxymoron.

"I'm sorry my friend." Charles whispers, voice as fleeting as the lightest breeze in the trees, and Erik frowns before gasping as images, _memories_ , flood his mind.

 

* * *

 

"Charles!" A shrill, harsh voice echoed along the corridors and the sound of harsh breathing can be heard as a small boy tries to curl himself up into a ball. "Charles! Get yourself down here right now boy!" There was frustration, annoyance and impatience in the voice and the boy flinched instinctively as he felt every last ounce of the resentment present.

"Charles." A deeper, more manly voice echoed down the corridor and the boy froze, his entire body going numb as the sound of footfalls coming towards him reached his ears.

Watching in horror Erik realises he can do nothing to interfere as a tall silhouette appears at the end of the corridor which, Erik realises with a sickening realisation, is the same corridor he and Charles sleep on in the west wing.

"Charles my boy. Don't keep your mother waiting." The man whispered as he knelt down near the boy, even though he was hidden from direct sight – it was almost as though he knew where to find the child – and reached out a hand, placing it firmly on the boys frozen shoulder.

Erik grits his teeth as he sees the man tightening his grip until the boy flinches and tries to pull away, only for the man to harshly drag him from his little haven in the corner.

"You wouldn't want to upset her now would you?" The man added as he gripped the boys shoulder tightly and steered him along the corridor. "Afterall, this is going to be the last time you see her for a month my boy. Don't want her being angry at you for a month do you?" There was a sinister undertone in the man's voice and it makes Erik want to pull the boy away and protect him. But it's a memory and he knows he can't, and maybe that's the worst part of it all... he's able to see what his friend went through but he has no power to change it. He is as helpless now as he was when Shaw was torturing his friend and he was too weak to find him quick enough.

As Erik stares that the young Charles Xavier the child looked towards Erik's direction, not looking at him specifically, but at something and Erik finds himself unable to tear his gaze away because what he sees in those eyes... it's the same look he had in his own when the Gestapo came for his family and they were carted away. It's the look of a trapped, wild animal who knows, somewhere deep inside, that death is near.

As the memory begins to fade away another one takes its place and Erik watches in silence, a tear rolling down his cheek.

 

* * *

 

The room is familiar, the main study where the television is and where Charles hardly spends any time. Erik looks about himself, turning slowly in a circle, taking in the changes that have obviously occurred since the time in this memory and he's surprised to realise that only three things have changed. The television obviously. There's a door where there is now a bookcase and Erik realises that Charles has purposefully hidden the door for a reason. And then there's the small name-plate on the table that reads: _Doctor Kurt Marko_.

Though Erik doesn't understand the significance of the name he _does_ understand that it has ties to something Charles would much rather forget and that is why it no longer resides on the large, oak desk in the main study. Erik turns his attention to the door as it opened and the same boy appeared, walking into the room with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. Erik blinks in surprise as he realises that the young Charles really is just that; _young_. He couldn't be any more than ten or eleven.

This young Charles seems more controlled, less panicked, than the one Erik had last seen, and he frowns. No-one should have to become so mature so young. Erik himself wasn't mature per say, more like he was damaged and scarred and permanently changed from his life's experiences but he could agree with anyone who said he wasn't mature because to be mature is to be aware of the consequences of one's actions and to realise one's responsibility in relation to them. Erik refused to take responsibility for most of his actions, justifying them with weak arguments, or ignoring the consequences outright.

And Erik realises that Charles, his dear friend, has been more of an adult, more mature, than he had ever realised. His friend has never been the spoilt brat that part of him had jealously believed. Charles has been just as much a victim as he, and he's still turned out to be the better man.

The young Charles moved across the room, over to the, now hidden, door and turned the handle quietly, as though he were afraid of being caught. Turning to look behind him, Erik realises that the young Charles is indeed being sneaky and obviously shouldn't be in the room. Moving forward so he can see better, Erik watches as the young Charles opened the door as quietly as possible and slipped into the room beyond. Swiftly following the young boy, Erik blinks in surprise as he's greeted with a white-washed room not unlike the one where Shaw experimented on him for many years.

The young Charles tip-toed across the white tiled floor over to a draw that was locked. Tentatively, he looked around himself again, before raising his hand over the lock and focusing intently on it, his brow creasing in frustration, until a quiet "click" echoed around the room. The young boy smiled in triumphant satisfaction and pulled the draw open, reaching in and drawing out a small, ornate-looking fob watch. Focusing his sharp gaze on the watch Erik noticed that it was a tarnished silver, obviously old and well-cared for despite its age, the front scratched and encrusted with sand which – when Erik looked closer – was coloured red slightly and he took a step back as he realised what the red was. Blood. The young Charles had snuck into this room, this dungeon that was so vivid and terrifying even to a grown up Erik, to find a fob watch that was covered in bloody sand. Why? What was so important about it that the young Charles obviously risked being reprimanded – and Erik is sure that Charles was reprimanded for it as the door to the room opened again and a tall figure entered the room.

"You shouldn't be in here boy." The tall man said, his voice quiet but laced with anger strong enough to make the young Charles spin around and fall against the cabinet behind him. The young boy stared up at the taller man, fear clear in his eyes but not in his stance as he steadied himself and stood up tall, refusing to shake with fear. Erik found himself admiring Charles' stubbornness, his determination to not show weakness in front of this man – who Erik surmises is Doctor Kurt Marko – and he steps closer to the younger Charles, as though he could stop whatever he was about to witness.

The tall man, Marko, reached out a large hand and clasped Charles' small shoulder tightly, the young boy tensing but not flinching at the contact. Marko pulled harshly, suddenly and Charles was dragged forwards, his arms flying out to try and balanced himself, and Erik watched as the grip on the fob watch in Charles' hand loosened fractionally and the watch flew out of his younger friends hand. The young Charles let out a cry as he pulled against Marko's grip, his eyes following the flying projectile as it angled towards the cold, hard, unrelenting floor. The sound of the fob watch colliding with the tile-flooring was so loud but it was drowned out by the mental cry of anguish coming from the younger Charles who wrenched himself out of Marko's grip and flung himself down onto the ground next to the broken, shattered and dead fob watch.

Marko blinked in surprise and stared down at the small form of the kneeling boy, his eyebrows raised and Erik hears the voice of the man mutter. "Interesting..." as the room began to fade again and another memory took its place around him.

 

* * *

 

Standing in the middle of the main study – obviously a few years later because there's the bookshelf at last - Erik watches in silence as a taller, older, stronger Charles Xavier entered the room and strode over towards the now obscured door and pulled a single book back. A loud "click!" echoed around the silent room. Erik let out a small sigh, of sadness and pain and confusion, as the bookshelf moved back and the door was able to be seen. Without any preamble the older Charles, probably around fourteen, fifteen judging by the gangly limbs, opened the door and entered the – well, what Erik thought a dungeon but was most likely a lab of sorts – hidden room. Quickly following Erik enters the room and watches in surprised, horrified silence, as the older Charles moved purposefully over towards the corner of the room that Erik hadn't noticed in the previous memory. In the corner there was a long, vertical... cage of some sort, with glass and plastic sides that looked to have either been painted black or were naturally dark in colour. Without any hesitation, the older Charles knelt down and focused his attention on picking the lock – and Erik wonders what had happened since the last memory to make Charles choose to pick a lock by hand rather than with his powers.

A small, soft, "click" echoed around the room and the older Charles quickly pulled the door to the cage open, reaching out tentatively with a stable hand. His words, when he spoke, were soft and reassuring. "Cain... Cain, it is alright. He is gone for the day. It is safe."

Erik moves closer towards the cage and peers into it, wondering who the hell Cain is and why they're so afraid. He nearly jumps back in surprise when a hand shot out and wrapped itself tightly around Charles' outstretched one. The older Charles gritted his teeth but didn't move even thought Erik is sure the grip is excruciatingly tight, and instead continued to speak. "It's Charles, Cain... come now my brother... you are safe now I promise you."

Brother?

Charles has a brother? How? Why didn't he mention him? Does Raven know? Why didn't Charles trust him enough to tell him? Erik frowns as a stab of pain, betrayal, works its way around his body, into his heart and mind and he stares down coldly at the older Charles, his mind wondering what else Charles has deigned him unworthy to know.

"It is not like that my friend..." Charles' voice echoes around him and Erik turns suddenly to see the adult Charles standing on the other side of the room, lab, dungeon, watching the unfolding memory with sad, haunted eyes.

"Then tell me Charles, how _is_ it like?" Erik snaps, his voice harsher than he expected it to be and he feels a pooling of guilt as Charles flinches minutely.

"Watch..." Charles whispers sadly, something in his voice making Erik fall silent and look over that the teenaged Charles. In the semi-silences of the room the sounds of quiet sobbing reach Erik's ears and he cranes his neck slightly to see what's going on.

Inside the cage the person, Cain – who Erik surmises is a boy – lets out a cry of anguish and tried to pull the teenaged Charles into the darkness of the cage. The teen pulled back, resisting the pull of Cain's grip and instead whispered soft words of reassurance. "Cain, come on... it's safe, I promise... you can come out... he's not here anymore. He won't hurt you..."

Slowly, ever so agonisingly slowly, the boy called Cain emerged from the cage. Erik gasps in surprise as he takes in the features of the boy. Sharp face, small eyes – haunted and dark, damaged and scarred – with strong, wiry limbs. The boys skin was pale and a thin sheen of perspiration reflected the lighting in the room. The teenaged Charles smiled slightly at the boy and whispered encouragingly. "That's right Cain, come on. I'll keep you safe brother..."

After what felt like an age to Erik, the boy sat on the white, tiled-floor shivering whilst the teenaged Charles shrugged off the jacket he was wearing and gently placed it over the other boys shoulders. Carefully, the teenaged Charles lifted the boy up off the floor, supporting him when the boy's knees buckled. Erik listens to the constant litany of words that the teenaged Charles continuously whispered to Cain.

"Charles I don't-" Erik begins as he looks over at his friend who is watching his younger self with so much pain, so much grief in his eyes that Erik's words fail him. Moving through the memory in silence, Erik makes it to his friends side swiftly and he notices the fact that Charles is shaking, his shoulders shivering minutely and Erik reaches out instinctively with a hand. Standing in the midst of one of Charles' most emotive memories, Erik stares at his friend and grasps lightly onto his shoulder.

There was a loud crash behind the teenaged Charles and Cain as the door to the lab, cell, swung open and the tall man, Marko, barged in. Anger clear to see in his features and Erik feels his friends shoulders tense up at the sight of the man.

"I did not give you permission to release Cain, Charles." Marko's voice echoed around the silent room and the teenaged Charles, so full of fear and worry for his brother, instinctively moved to stand in front of the trembling Cain. He stared in fearful defiance at Marko and refused to answer the tall man. "Did you think I didn't know you'd come and _save_ him Charles? Do you think I am stupid boy?"

"No." The teenaged Charles bit out as he stared at the taller man. "Just cruel." He added and his head snapped to the side as Marko's hand darted out and he punched the teen. Stumbling slightly but managing to remain standing, Charles fixed Marko with an angered gaze, so full of rage, hate, fear and pain that Erik can't bear to look into those _burning_ blue eyes.

"Silence!" Marko growled. "You will not speak out of term boy!" He snarled as he grabbed Charles' arm and dragged him towards him.

"Or what?" The teenaged Charles asked, anger and sarcasm in his voice. "You'll put me in the box too?" Erik looks at the younger face of his friend and, though it's masterfully hidden, he sees the fear of 'the box' in those blue eyes.

"Cain!" Marko snapped harshly as he gripped the teen's arm tighter and used his other hand to spin the teenaged Charles around before twisting Charles' free-arm up behind his back, effectively immobilising him. "Ready the box now."

The younger boy, still trembling, hurried to do as Marko asked, avoiding looking at either the teenaged Charles or Marko in the process. The younger Charles struggled against Marko's grip but he stopped and let out a quiet whimper as Marko twisted his wrist near to breaking point.

"Stop struggling boy." Marko snarled into Charles' ear and Erik looks over at his friends frozen form, realising that his friend is reliving the anguish, the pain and the fear that his younger self had been experiencing during this memory. "It will won't end well for you otherwise."

"Get off me..." The teen snarled, renewing his struggles, ignoring the shooting pain running up his arm as Marko twisted his wrist sharply. Silently and swiftly, Marko began to push the teenaged Charles along, twisting the teens arm whenever he stopped moving, until they reached 'the box'.

Erik feels bile rising in his throat as he stares into 'the box' and he can't tear his gaze away from his younger friends' self as Marko roughly shoves Charles inside the box and slams the door shut.

"He would do this daily." The soft, cultured and vulnerable voice of his friend causes Erik to snap his gaze onto his friends face. Charles is staring intently at the still unfolding scene, his eyes blazing with so many emotions that Erik finds it painful to look into them. "Cain would be placed in the cage and I in the box. Two separate cages for two separate people. Though they were just as degrading, destructive and damaging as each other."

"Charles." Erik whispers as he steps closer to his friend. Charles doesn't look away from the memory he's placed them in.

"If you continue watching you will realise quite soon as to why I do not reveal the fact that I once had a brother." Charles' voice is strained, full of emotion and Erik blinks as he thinks over the wording of the statement.

"Had?" Erik echoes as he looks at Charles' face and his friend finally looks away from the memory to focus on Erik's face.

"Yes; had." Charles confirms solemnly and Erik blinks tears out of his eyes, grief and sadness flooding his mind and he knows it's coming from Charles. His friend is letting him feel a little of the emotions that Charles tries so desperately to keep in check.

Back in the memory around them, the lights flickered and the walls groaned suddenly, drawing Erik's attention to the still unfolding memory. Marko looked over at 'the box' in surprise and stepped towards it, hesitantly peeking through the small slit in the door which revealed a shaking teenaged Charles with his arms spread wide and his face ghostly white.

"What are you doing boy?" Marko snapped, apprehension building in his deep voice as Cain stumbled away from 'the box' over towards the desk in the opposite corner. Everything in the room began to shake and the cage where Cain had been locked away in, began to dissolve, piece-by-piece as Marko backed away from the box's door in fear. "Stop it!" He barked as he hurried towards the door leading to the main study, but it slammed shut before him.

"Charles!" Cain shouted out, his voice high and full of terror as the desk too began to dissolve. It was horrific and Erik looks over at his friend, watching the myriad of emotions playing across Charles' white face. This memory wasn't over yet and Erik looked back at the horrid happenings around them.

There was a scream, so full of anger, pain, hurt, fear and suddenly there was silence. Everything slowed, and the door to the box eroded away as the teenaged Charles stepped out of his cage and stared at the frozen Marko. There seemed to be electric blue flames flickering behind the teens eyes and Erik can't do anything but stare in to those burnished eyes, and he sees out of the corner of his eyes that the lighting in the room has started to fail and he can feel the real Charles standing in silence beside him.

"CHARLES!" Cain screamed as time suddenly returned to normal and the teen collapsed to the ground, as the ceiling caved in.

Erik looks at Charles, part of him wondering why the memory is still continuing when his friend whispers. "This is Marko's memory now." And Erik turns to look back at the scene as he watches the tall man as he dived towards the unconscious teenaged Charles and hauled him up, over his shoulder without any hesitation. There are sharp spikes of emotions running through him, fear, anger, worry and downright terror and Erik realises that these are the emotions that Marko is feeling in the memory, not Charles.

He watches in shocked silence as the tall man reached out and grabbed Cain's arm in an iron grip and hurried towards the door, looking at Cain momentarily and hissing. "Open it!"

Cain looked up at Marko in fear before his gaze moved onto the unconscious Charles' face and he turned around suddenly, gripping the handle of the door in his hands. He took a breath and pulled. Erik watches, wondering if the young boy is a mutant also and he finds his question answered when the large door groaned and opened as Cain tugged at the handle. Behind Marko a large explosion occurs and the tall man threw Charles out of the door, and shoved Cain through it just as the explosion caught him as he dived out behind the boys.

The three of them lay on the ground in the study, one unconscious and the other two seriously injured and the last Erik saw of the memory before it ended was the young boy, Cain, trying to sit up and reach for his unconscious brother.

And then there was only himself and Charles standing in an endless stretch of whiteness.

And then, even that ceases to exist.

 

* * *

 

Erik lets out a gasp of surprise as he falls backwards and lands on the hard, wooden flooring in Charles' room. He's breathing heavily, his heart beating faster than it ever has before in his entire life, as he tries to calm himself and sort out the memories, the _feelings_ , that he's been assaulted with by his friend. Looking up at Charles, Erik notes that his friend is staring at him, his face pale and strained but, other than that, looking remarkably calm and collected.

It feels like a life-time before he is able to get his breathing back under control but Erik sits up carefully, staring up at his friends face, looking into those blue eyes and he can't help but think. _'Oh Charles.'_

"I was not lying my friend when I told you killing Shaw would not bring you peace." Charles whispers as he sits forward slowly and stares intently at Erik. "I speak from experience for killing Marko did not bring me peace."

Erik blinks in surprise as his mind shudders to a horrific, crashing stop. Charles killed Marko... Charles killed... Charles...

"It was accidental on my part but that last memory you saw." Charles continues, his voice soft and numb and Erik's struck with the realisation that Charles has shut himself off from his feelings. He finds the realisation incredibly terrifying because Charles _should_ feel, Charles thinks with his heart and to hear his friend speak so calmly, so detached from what he speaks of, is sickening for Erik.

"I lost control of my power, fear fuelling my ability in a way that has only happened once since then." Charles looks down at Erik, his eyes burning as brightly as they were in the teenaged Charles' face in the memory and Erik can't help but shiver at the memory. His friend is _meant_ to be in control, his friend is the one who teaches control to the children, to Erik, and yet Charles is the one, out of all of them, who has the most tenuous grip on his own power because he fears it _so much_.

"The explosion was the result of several delicate pieces of equipment that my step-father used in his experiments being worn away and the samples being contaminated. They ignited near to the main power-transformer in the room." Charles explains as he slides out of his seat and comes to kneel in front of the now sitting Erik, his eyes still burning ferociously.

"He and my brother, Cain did not survive the explosion, having been too close to the door and caught in the last remnants of the flames." Charles' voice drops to a near whisper and Erik stares at Charles, his eyes bright with unshed tears because he can _feel_ Charles' pain now. "My power protected me but left them completely open to the flames... when I woke up Cain was already gone and Marko was barely clinging onto life. I couldn't save him so I eased his death as best I could..." Erik opens his mouth to say something but Charles cuts him off. "I know that is not what you would have done my friend, but I did not wish for the last moments of my step-father's life to be full of resentment and pain. Though he did not love my mother, he was my father's friend and I owed him some dignity."

Erik's mouth snaps shut in surprise and he watches as Charles leans forwards until their lips are almost touching. "My friend..." Charles' breaths out. "My love..." Erik's heart stutters as Charles reaches up with a shaking hand and caresses his cheek. "I am forever grateful for the patience you have expended waiting for my battered mind to reach some semblance of order, and I am thankful for your friendship..." Charles pauses and stares deeply into Erik's eyes, the sheer power of Charles' emotions shining through his eyes strongly enough to make Erik's breathing increase. "And I thank you for calming me when I needed the serenity that you provide Erik... but, what I am most thankful for..."

Charles' voice peters out and Erik waits in anticipation, his heart beating like an 808 drum and his mind flying about insanely fast as he stares into his friends eyes. "What Charles?" Erik asks, his voice deep and rough, raw and lustful as he feels the softest caress on his face as Charles' hand ghosts over his cheek and his upper lip.

' _I am thankful for the fact that I love you and you love me back.'_ Charles thought as he carefully closed the gap between them and captured Erik's lips in the softest, kindest, most-loving kiss either man had ever experienced. Though there was a roaring beast in Erik's stomach that ordered him to _take Charles_ _now_ , the metal manipulator allowed his friend complete control, becoming as malleable as some of the metals he can manipulate. He let Charles set the pace as the younger man ran the tip of his tongue along Erik's upper lip before darting into Erik's mouth and running it along his gum making the older man moan in wanton desire. _'I love you so much Erik... I love you because you're willing to let me lead because you don't wish me to falter...'_ Charles' thoughts invade Erik's mind and the metal manipulator can't help but run his hand along Charles' side, revelling in the keening sound his friend makes into the kiss.

Charles raises a tentative hand up, running it lightly along Erik's chest, stopping over his heart and lightly pushes until Erik is lying flat on his back and Charles is on top of him, their bodies touching entirely as Charles' tongue tangles with Erik's own and he holds Erik's face with his hands as Erik's own glide over his back. The fire crackles - the previous spark of life from Charles' prior 'freak-out' serving to have been enough to make the logs catch – and spread a comfortable warmth throughout the room. Erik moans into the kiss as Charles skilfully slips a hand beneath his nightshirt and ghosts over his muscles, the palm of his hand catching the sensitive nipples on his chest and Erik arches his back as he bites Charles' lower lip making the younger man rut against him.

It may not be the fast, desperate, lust-filled sex that Erik had in mind, and he finds that this is better because he knows with certainty that Charles, whilst still in control, is still letting Erik share the reigns, but it suffices and Erik tastes blood in his mouth as Charles nips on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. It makes the primal part of him howl with need and Charles' body shudders above him and Erik can feel his hand slipping down towards waistline of his trousers – trousers that are uncomfortably tight and he really hopes Charles will divest him of them soon enough.

Charles chuckles and Erik realises that the sneaky git is reading his mind, so Erik growls and slips his hand beneath Charles' shirt, scratching the smooth back with his nails and making Charles moan and writhe above him. He can feel everything that Charles is feeling as his friend takes down several of the barriers he holds in place, and Erik is drowning in the sheer want that Charles is feeling. It's enough to kill a weaker man, but Erik is not weak and he is more than a man. He is the person who would burn the world to save Charles and vice versa, no-one could ever compare to them. No-one ever will.

 

* * *

 

Later, when they are sated and calmed; their minds finally at peace with the past that had been pressing down upon them, burying them, Erik nuzzles Charles' neck and thinks to him. _'If I am your serenity my friend then you must know that you are mine also.'_

'I wouldn't have it any other way my love.' Charles' voice filters through his mind and Erik feels so warm, so content and so safe that he wonders whose feelings they are – because the connection between them is still open wide – and Charles answers his silent wondering. _'They are our feelings Erik, together. We are safe with each other for you I would never harm... but for you the world I would burn.'_

' _And I you my dear Charles. And I you.'_ Erik replies as he wraps his arms around Charles' naked body, keeping him close and protecting him from the world around them. _'For you Charles, I would remake the world just to make you happy.'_

' _Just never leave me and I will never feel sadness ever again.'_ Charles whispers as Erik places a kiss, a promise on his forehead.

' _As if anyone could make me.'_ Erik thinks, humour in his thoughts and Charles smiles against his chest. _'Well... if you don't inform the children to stop playing knock-and-run on my door I might-'_ His thought is cut off when Charles thumps him in the chest with his free hand and Erik can't help but laugh as Charles pouts like a child.


	3. Part III

 

_**C(haos) + D(isorder) - Σ Su(rvival chances)**_

_**ΔS(ilence) + D(eath toll)** _

_ **nR(ecovery chances) + ΔTi(me)** _

_**P(syche)** _

**EQUALS:**

_**Approximately six months, three days and a lot of anger-management sessions** _

 

* * *

 

Raven stood in silence as she stared out into the darkness beyond the small window above the kitchen sink. It was dark out. Very dark. Courtesy of the dense tree-line surrounding the exterior of the estate, none of the artificial light from the town a few miles away filtered through to disturb the darkness of the grounds. When she'd been younger it had unnerved her, having always been used to the bright lights of the towns and cities where people were always present, but now Raven found it relaxing, soothing and, most of all, private. The darkness allowed her the illusion that she was alone. And she desperately needed to be alone right now.

Absentmindedly, she continued to scrub the dry mug in her hands, her mind not on the task but rather on other things. Darker things. Things that she had suppressed for a number of weeks since this whole fiasco began. She wondered about that, this 'fiasco'. It wasn't exactly a secret anymore, not really even though Moria had been mind-blanked – one of the first things Charles had done after they'd returned to the mansion, before he'd had his own version of a break-down; the silent type that terrified Raven more than his direct anger. They 'd all been through a lot lately. Hank and Alex, Sean, Raven and the other mutants. They'd been through a lot and they were working through their issues. Heck, even Erik was. But, the one who had been through more than any of them could ever know, well...

They'd been through a lot.

Sometimes, when she was too tired, too afraid to do anything other than curl up in her covers and try and hide from the world, she wondered what it would have been like for them all. If it had happened differently. On some nights, normally when she was too desperate for sleep and too exhausted from crying, she'd drift off into dreams where she was by Erik's side and Charles was not. And everytime she'd wake up with tear-tracks on her blue cheeks and feeling her heart breaking because she _loved_ her brother and... and now he understood that the world wasn't pretty. That there were monsters out there and he'd been irreparably scared by one. Like her. Like _Erik_.

She knew of course, understood that Charles' life hadn't been easy before she'd come along. She'd figured it out pretty early on when he'd explained to her that his mother had actually died so her shifting into the form of Mrs Xavier was the biggest give-away she'd given him. He had looked sad when he'd explained to her why he was alone in the house, excluding the maids, nannies and butlers that she occasionally saw. She'd known that he was lonely and wanted someone to love, someone to be family to him again. And she'd wanted a family too. She understood him, but he didn't understand _her_.

But maybe now he would, maybe now, after Shaw he could understand why she hated people, why she feared them. Maybe he could finally see what she had tried to tell him since they were kids. The world wasn't a nice place. She'd learnt that in the orphanage when the children had bullied her, the adults feared her, and her parents had abandoned her. As much as Charles had felt lonely without his family around, Raven knew that her parents had never loved her, only feared her. She'd never felt the love of a parent. She'd never had a family before Charles.

Her blue hands gripped the mug tightly, ceasing in their movements, as she stared unblinkingly out of the window before her. The darkness gave her mind a blank canvas to draw images on, to paint her own fantasy, her own dream. The type of dream where she and Charles were together. Where Charles understood what she'd always tried to tell him. The type of dream that she still wanted with all her heart. The type of dream that she'd never have because Charles was her _brother_. And he had Erik anyway.

Erik.

Another loss for her, she dropped the mug in the sink, ignoring the way it impacted on the metal and cracked along the side. She always lost in the end didn't she? She was always the sad, little child that was left out of evening meals because no-one wanted to touch her. She was always the one who was forgotten, who could hide away and never expect to be found again. She always failed to get what she wanted. Loving parents... A happy life... Normalcy... Charles... Erik...

She blinked away the tears threatening to fall from her tawny eyes as she leant against the fridge door. Who was she kidding? She wanted what she could never have and it was stupid of her to be moping about it all. Charles and Erik were an item, it was obvious even if she had hate admitting it to herself. She'd seen it from the moment they had stood on the deck of the ship all those weeks, _months_ ago, shivering from the cold and completely soaking wet. She knew her brother and she truly wished she didn't. She wished she could be what he wanted. She wished she was what _she_ wanted _herself_ to be.

"Why do you cry?" A soft, low voice echoed around the dark kitchen, startling Raven as she straightened up immediately and snapped her gaze on the door. Standing, just on the threshold into the kitchen was the red mutant. Azant? Azane? Azaz? What was his name again?

"What do you want?" Raven snarled viscously as she slinked towards the kitchen table, where there was a lone kitchen knife resting on its surface. She knew logically that the red-mutant – Azazel, that was his name! - wasn't going to hurt her, she'd see how he had politely, tenderly assisted Erik and Hank in dealing with the unconscious Charles not too long ago. But logic couldn't over-ride instinct and she was preparing herself for a fight.

"I came for a glass of water." Azazel replied, his voice still low and soft. Raven was struck with the strange thought that this would be how a human would speak to a hungry lion about to attack. The thought made her shoulders lose some of their tension slightly and she took a breath to calm herself.

"Oh." Raven said softly and she blushed, though it was impossible to see with her blue skin. "Sorry." She apologised, watching as Azazel carefully, warily, entered the kitchen and filled a glass with water.

"It is alright." He waved a hand as he moved over to the table and sat down in one of the chairs. "We are all tired and stressed." He smiled slightly, not the usual smile where all his teeth showed, but a softer, gentler and more humanised smile which instinctively made Raven relax and smile back slightly.

She sat down in the other seat, content to just sit in silence with the other mutant, the only other one – besides Hank, but his colour wasn't because of his genes, that was because he wanted to play God – of them who knew what it was really like to be so horrifically different to _normal_ people.

"Perhaps you would like to talk about it?" Azazel suggested quietly, politely, and Raven blinked. The mutants accent was different to Charles' own – Russian if she was correct – but the politeness, the care, the warmth in his words... oh God. That was too much like Charles for her to handle. She looked away and shook her head, wiping away the tears that had started again.

"No." She croaked out, her voice low and vulnerable. She didn't want to talk. Not to him. Not to this mutant, so like her but like Charles too. No. She couldn't talk to him right now. Not if she wanted to be able to face him again tomorrow.

"Then I will talk." Azazel said lightly, as though he didn't see how upset Raven was but she knew he'd noticed and she was grateful that he'd changed the topic. She wiped away the last few tears off her cheeks, finally procuring enough control over her emotions to keep them in check. Looking up at the red-mutant Raven smiled and nodded.

Azazel smiled again and began to speak about his life before Shaw. He began to speak about how he had enjoyed reading poetry and cooking. He spoke of old Russian tales and how the winters in the USSR were horrific but being able to play hide-and-seek in snow banks two-storey's tall was fun.

Raven sat and listened, relaxing and smiling. Laughing when Azazel tried to explain how he had fallen out of their flat window in the depths of winter and landed on one of the snow banks after breaking his sisters favourite toy. And something in her heart. Something that had been wrapped up in hurt and anger, betrayal and loss, was let loose and she couldn't help but wonder if she had found what she had been so desperately searching for all these years.

Someone who understood what it was like to hide their true form from others, but someone who also understood why it had to be done. She didn't know why Azazel had ever joined Shaw, and a part of her doubted she'd ever really know, but right now. Right now, Raven didn't care because she had someone else, someone who liked how they looked, liked who they were, and had the same heart of gold as her dear Charles.

And if she was starting to maybe fall a little bit in love with the red-mutant, well. Who could blame her really? It was almost like it was meant to be.

 

* * *

 

When the morning came, and the sun began to rise from beneath the horizon, and the birds began to twitter in their nests, both Azazel and Raven were still talking and listening in the kitchen. A plate of biscuits between them and a, now empty, pot of tea and two mugs beside it. They were completely relaxed, comfortable and safe. They were fast becoming friends and anyone who would have walked in on them might have got the wrong idea – especially since Azazel was trying to steal the biscuit in Raven's out-stretched hand. Of course, the only person who wouldn't have got the wrong idea would have been the same person who entered the kitchen and watched in surprise as Raven scurried out of her chair and away from the red-mutant who was still after that damned biscuit.

"Give me that!" Azazel mocked growled as he half-dived across the table, his hand shooting out to snatch the biscuit only to grasp thin air as Raven gracefully danced away from him. "It's my favourite."

"No. Go get your own." Raven laughed back, an easy smile on her face as she danced around the kitchen, always just out of Azazel's reach. She grinned mischievously at the red-mutant who glared at her.

"I can't. You ate the others bluebird." Azazel pouted and it looked so very strange on the red-mutant that Raven couldn't help but laugh at him as she finally stopped dancing and held the biscuit out to the red-mutant.

"Fine. I'll just make Charles buy some more." Raven said, smiling in amusement as Azazel stared at the biscuit as though he was expecting it to transform into some evil dough-based monster and devour him.

"Make me buy some more of what?" Charles asked as he finally revealed his presence, wisely deciding to look like he had no idea what was going on. He suppressed a slight smile when both of the colourful mutants started at his voice. He walked into the kitchen and over to the kettle on the stove. He frowned. "Raven. It wouldn't kill you to refill this every once in a while you know?" He reprimanded but there was no bite in his words.

"Shut up Charles." Raven pouted as she glared at her brother. "And you need to get some more Digestives, with the sugar-topping." Raven added as she moved to stand next to her brother by the sink. She watched as he filled up the kettle and avoided her gaze. "What's up with you?" She asked, genuinely interested and out of the corner of her eye she spied Azazel moving to fridge.

"Nothing." Charles answered as he turned the tap off and glanced at his sister, smiling briefly. "I'm fine." He added, pausing long enough to look Raven in the eye directly and Raven actually found herself believing him. Her brother wasn't one-hundred-percent yet, but he was getting there.

"Okay." Raven nodded slowly as Charles' face lit up and he smiled widely at her, as though he had been expecting her not to believe him. She followed him over to the stove, smiling to Azazel as the red mutant began to cut slices off the loaf of bread – who put it in the fridge exactly, Raven didn't want to know – and she perched on the low counter-top, swinging her legs like she had always done when they'd been younger. She smiled at her brother and couldn't help but ask. "I guess you're all happy because of Erik's magic-hands?"

Charles choked on the breath he took and dropped the lit match on the floor as his eyes snapped to lock with Raven's own. She stared innocently at him and couldn't help but say. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Behind them Azazel let out a muffled laugh and Charles flushed until his pale face was almost as red as the sunset. "Inappropriate Raven." Charles muttered as he looked away from Raven and focused intensely on lighting another match.

Raven laughed at her brother's response and hopped down off the counter-top, lightly padding over to throw herself down into her chair at the table. She looked over at Azazel who's shoulders were shaking suspiciously. She smirked and leaned over, snatching up a grape from the bowl the red-mutant had placed them in. He looked up at her and she smirked evilly at him, jerking her head towards her brother who was focused entirely on the boiling kettle. He shook his head, a smile on his face as he tried to not laugh aloud.

"Oh for God's sake. Just laugh already before you give yourself a coronary!" Charles exclaimed in exasperation as he turned around to glare at Raven and Azazel. The red mutant looked over his shoulder at the embarrassed Englishman and it was enough for him to dissolve into fits of laughter, Raven joining him. "Thank you so very much for finding amusement in my obvious embarrassment." Charles huffed as he pouted glumly and it only served to make them laugh even more.

Raven laughed joyously as her fear that her brother was broken was soothed and she felt his amusement, though she was sure he didn't realise that he was projecting his feelings right now, as she clutched the table top and watched as Azazel laughed _with_ her. She finally realised that things were changing now. They weren't perfect and they could never be as they were before, but things were improving at long last and she laughed even louder in exhilaration and happiness.

And Charles watched as she did so, a smile adorning his still red face. He observed how his sister laughed along with Azazel, at his expense of course but there was something more there – something else that she was laughing about, but he wasn't going to break a promise to her just to placate his curiosity. He wondered if her sister realised that, whatever feelings she had for the red-mutant, Azazel's own were mutual. Charles watched sharply as Raven reached out a hand and rested it on Azazel's arm, a move that neither seemed uncomfortable with so they'd obviously been in each other's company a lot lately. The instinctual urge to protect his sister was quickly quenched when he quickly, subtly, gleaned the foremost thoughts of the red-mutants mind and he found respect, care, adoration and fascination mixed together.

And that was how Erik found the three of them a few minutes later; Charles standing next to the stove and the boiling kettle looking as though someone had poured hot water on his face, Raven and Azazel laughing their heads off at some little joke that only they were privy to.

It was all strangely domestic.

 

* * *

 

 

**Video Log #4820**

**Entry Date: 21/10/62**

**Location: Classified**

_Recording..._

Sitting on a stool in front of the video recorder, a small prototype object that he'd managed to cobble together based on some of the notes he still had with him, he looked at the screen and composed himself. Taking a deep breath he blinked a couple of times before beginning:

"I don't know what to say this time around. I always have something to say normally...

So much has happened since my last entry, it feels unreal; not that it didn't before of course just... it feel really unreal now."

He paused and frowned as he tried to think of how best to start, what he could say, how he could say it, what he should say first. Tapping his fingers on his knee he gave a little nod before continuing with his words, quiet and aged.

"We stopped Shaw. That's probably the biggest thing really... actually no, no it isn't. We found the Professor, then we stopped Shaw. We only saw him in his suit really, except in the jet when he was not you know, solid or anything, but... oh God.. I can't imagine what Shaw did to him."

He paused again and looked away from the screen, picking the hem of the lab coat he's wearing. Slowly he looked back at the camera and continued, his voice strained and tired but his eyes are filled with wisdom and sadness.

"He has nightmare's most nights, the Professor. The other's don't really notice but I do, I notice more than they think I do really. Magneto, Erik, Magneto notices as well though. Sometimes, a lot of the time actually, I'll hear something... a laugh o-or crying but when I look around me there's nothing there. It's creepy... and then I feel the pain.

It's pain I've never known, a pain I didn't even thought could exist... and then the Professor's screaming for Erik and I think I'm screaming for Erik too... I feel like I'm being burned alive, every part of me is being eroded by incomparable heat and. And then it stops."

The speaker shivers as he looks at the camera, his face filled with vulnerability and sadness. A too young face with too old a set of feelings. He took a deep, shuddering breath as he tried to steady himself before continuing.

"It makes me feel like I've just died.

"I know I should tell him, the Professor, what he's doing but it'll hurt him. More than the nightmares already do because we're his charges, his family, his team and he's meant to protect and guide us. If I told him that everytime he dreams and, if I'm still awake, I can feel myself burning as he relives what's probably one the worst moments in his life..

Magneto already has problems getting the Professor to dine with us in the evening, if I told him I think it'd send him over the edge."

The speaker sighed tiredly and the camera records him running a hand through his coloured hair. He looks tired, ragged and stressed out by everything they've been dealing with as of late.

"Raven's worried for him, Alex is being even more of an ass than usual, Sean's trying to keep the peace with Angel and the others, Magneto's only able to do so much to keep us calm and look after the Professor...

We're falling apart and we need Charles Xavier back, we need our Professor X, our leader if we're going to survive whatever the world's going to throw at us now."

Hank slowly looked directly in the video camera and he sighed. "End of Video Log." He muttered as he stopped the recorder and the screen faded to black.

* * *

 

 

Sean sat down heavily and rested his arms on the marble counter-top. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and contrary to what everyone believed it wasn't due to the bud he'd been smoking. He was tired. No, correction. He was exhausted. For the last month or so he'd been having an awful time trying to sleep, and he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

Well, that's technically not true, he could blame it on the professor because Sean's mind was normally pretty level anyway, even if he acted to the contrary at times. His mom had often said he was immaturely mature; whatever she meant by that. But, the point was, he couldn't blame the professor – even if it was technically Charles' dreams bleeding into his own – because the professor was recovering and didn't need any additional blame.

And then there was the fact that Erik, Magneto, had used their latest work-out session to remind them of the professor's need for them to be 'supportive'. And of course, just to reaffirm the 'reminder' Erik had then proceeded to kick their arses into the middle of next week. Needless to say, Sean wasn't going to go and complain about anything right now; he literally valued his existence.

Besides, the professor's nightmare's weren't the only reason for his problematic sleeping. They had all been on edge and, even though Shaw was dead – it turned out that the missiles had hit the man full-on and he hadn't been able to absorb the energy so it was 'bye, bye Shaw, from Russia and America with fear and love' – there was still the possibility of action on the government's part. And so Sean had been working extra hard; training more than usual, strengthening his screaming and the duration of them, and keeping an eye on Moira.

Moira...

She was a problem, in several ways really. Erik didn't like her. Hank avoided her because she was unnerved by his new look. Raven was weary of her but polite whenever she asked a question. Charles disappeared whenever she was around; though the professor did that with everyone else as well, so it was nothing unusual. Alex was a mix between Raven and Hank, he avoided her if he could but was polite with her whenever he couldn't. And so, it fell to Sean to babysit her and keep an eye on her movement's. It was... annoying. And upsetting for him as well.

Moira was nice. But she was human, she wasn't a mutant – or at least, not like the rest of them were. So all she would ever really be, especially because she was CIA, was a threat to them. Sean knew that the professor understood this, and he guessed that was one of the reasons why Charles avoided her, but Sean also knew that Erik understood the fact too. And Erik wasn't as nice as Charles about threats to them; in fact, from what Sean had already seen, Erik would probably have already killed Moira and disposed of her body if it weren't for the facts that Charles wouldn't like it, and he'd be going against his newfound philosophy.

And that was another thing that stumped Sean. Magneto was all for "mutant and proud" and "we are the next stage of evolution" but Erik wasn't. Erik was different now. There was no 'Magneto' it was just 'Erik', and though Sean hadn't seen Erik and the professor meet for the first time, he had a feeling that Erik had been 'Magneto' for a very long time. It confused him a little and kind of unnerved him, because the professor had had something to do with such a massive change in Erik's philosophy that his entire mind-set seemed to have changed. Oh sure, he was still 'huggles mc-gruff' and 'if you touch me without permission I'll dig your heart out of your chest using a spoon' and stuff, but he was more... more human really.

They all were at the end of the day. Human. They looked like other people – even Hank because he had two arms, two legs, two eyes, a mouth, nose and so on; the blue fur and yellow eyes were what made him look so different – and they felt, thought and acted like other people. Whenever Raven, Mystique, was angry she ranted. Whenever Alex was upset he went to play foosball or snooker, or he went and sat alone and read something from the library. Whenever Hank was feeling offended, he puffed his chest, his eyes dimmed a little and he disappeared to his safe-place; his lab. Whenever Erik was happy, he smiled and laughed and was genuinely at peace with himself.

They all thought the same about certain things; Canadian hockey, American Football – though the professor really hated calling it football amusingly enough. And they all lived in a society where those who were different were either shunned, hated, hunted or feared.

They shunned people, the feared other people, they hunted others. They were just as human as Moira. Just as flawed.

And no-one could argue that they didn't fear other people because Sean knew, he knew, that they all feared the professor a little. How could they not? The man was a telepath who could read your mind, make you forget, and make you relive the darkest moments of your life. If you didn't fear him then you were beyond stupid, especially considering they'd all grown up in a world, a society, that talked about people having the right to privacy, to free will and so on. And he's a man who can take it all away from them with a thought.

Sean sighed and lifted his head off the counter-top as his sensitive hearing picked up the sound of footfalls; a side-effect of his screaming for some absurd reason was that his hearing had improved dramatically, it was useful at times. He blinked in surprise as he recognised the footfalls as those of the professor's and quickly schooled his face and tried to calm his mind; but, like when you told someone not to look down on a rope bridge, he found that his thoughts became louder and he cursed. It was like he was begging for his mind to be read.

"Maybe you are Sean." Charles said lightly as he stepped into Sean's sight. He looked tired and drawn, not haggard per say but not far off, and Sean couldn't help but frown. The professor didn't suit that look, and he suited it even less because Sean knew that Charles didn't give up.

People thought Sean didn't see, but the thing was. Sean saw as much as Charles did, using his eyes, and though he didn't understand everything he saw, he did understand that what you could see on the outside wasn't what was always going on, on the inside.

"Say what's on your mind Sean, you obviously need someone to talk things through with." Charles said kindly, warmly, like a parent waiting patiently for their child to explain their problem. It made Sean wonder just how old Charles really was; not physically but mentally.

"So do you." Sean replied without thinking and he repressed the urge to kick himself because he was just a kid to the professor, he wasn't anyone to talk to about stuff. But, he was right, the professor needed someone to talk to and so he offered.

Charles froze for a moment as he stared at Sean, his smile stuck on his face as his eyes flickered with something that Sean couldn't identify. As quickly as Charles froze Sean observed how the professor suddenly started back up again, his smile changing to something different and his eyes filling with false calm; it was unnerving.

"I have Erik." Charles said softly, his gentle tone a contrast with the rigidity of his smile and the false calm. Sean didn't like it one bit. No-one should hide their emotions after they've gone through something like the professor has. It's just not normal...

"Sean." Charles sighed, his face softening and his smile becoming more real. "I won't lie to you and say that what has transpired hasn't affected me, because it most definitely has, and I won't patronise you because you are not a child; even if I do still consider you as such." Charles continued, looking directly at Sean who tried to not squirm at the intense scrutiny and emotional-undercurrent in Charles' words. "But. That being said, I won't discuss my time with Shaw with you because I have chosen to confide in Erik."

Sean couldn't help but nod silently as he understood what the professor was saying _"you're too young in my eyes and I don't want to put more upon your shoulders than is already there, so please don't make me"_ and so Sean didn't, wouldn't, force Charles to do something he didn't want to. He owed the man too much and he respected him far more than the other's assumed he did.

"Okay." Sean said quietly and he couldn't help but think, _'As long as you're talking to someone'_ , and Charles smiled at him as he realised that he'd projected the thought. "Just answer one thing for me professor." He added, looking back at Charles who nodded slowly. "Did you know how strong you really were? Back on the beach."

"I..." Charles blinked in surprise and he tensed slightly. This wasn't a question he'd been expecting anyone to ask him, not even Raven; only Erik had been the one to call him on it and he'd hoped that no-one would question him about it again. Evidently, hoping counted for nothing nowadays.

Looking at Sean, a boy in Charles' eyes, but a boy who'd willingly agreed to fight a war against a maniac, a boy who'd been injured in said war and Charles realised with a sad and sharp stab to his heart, that Sean wasn't a child, he was a man and deserved to be treated as such.

"To some degree." Charles answered slowly, watching Sean's reaction warily. "I knew I was powerful as certain experiences in my past have provided me with some inkling of my ability." Sean frowned as the ghost of old pain flittered across the professor's face. "For reasons I won't go into, I locked away a portion of my power and it would have remained locked away if it hadn't been for Shaw..."

Sean was silent as he stared at the professor, the man who'd helped him learn to control his power, and he couldn't help but think that Charles was a bit of a hypocrite. No... not a hypocrite exactly. He didn't exactly understand the professor's power but, from the little he'd managed to take in from Hank's talks about their abilities, telepathy was pretty difficult to control and Sean couldn't help but wonder if the professor had cut off his power because he hadn't been able to handle it. Afterall, from what Raven had mentioned, Charles had developed his telepathy when he'd been young, like just hitting puberty kind of young. It would stand to reason that, because he was so powerful, his younger self had been so scared of his power, that he'd locked most of it away in order to function. Sean didn't know exactly, but he knew enough about Charles Xavier to guess he was right.

"So, basically." Sean started slowly, tapping his fingers lightly on the counter top. "You were a kid and something happened to freak you out, so you put a cap on your power. And then Shaw took the cap off?"

Charles couldn't help but smile in amusement at how Sean managed to condense his explanation so excellently. Nodding slightly Charles said. "In essence yes." His eyes sparked with warmth at the fact that Sean wasn't afraid of him, even though the boy, man, was wondering if he'd put the 'cap' back on.

"I'm afraid to admit that I don't know how to replace the cap." Charles answered the unasked question and Sean raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Everyone's thoughts are louder than I'm used to." Charles added as he looked apologetically at Sean.

"No problem man. I keep breaking windows everytime I laugh, I have no higher ground to judge you on." Sean shook he head at Charles' apology. "None of us do really. You are what you are, we shouldn't tell you to be anything different."

"Just because you shouldn't doesn't mean you don't, Sean." Charles pointed out, frowning a little as he wondered what Sean was trying to say. "And you seem to be forgetting that my power differs greatly to everyone else's." Charles added with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not forgetting anything." Sean countered as he scratched his cheek. "I know you're power's really against a person's privacy and all that, but so is Raven's really." Sean added and he elaborated as Charles frowned. "You can read a person's thoughts yeah, that's really creepy and invasive. But Raven becomes another person. She takes on their face, their looks, their everything. I'll admit that I find it weird that you can know everything about me without me ever having to tell you anything, but I find it even weirder to look at myself without a mirror."

Charles' face showed his surprise and Sean sighed as he tried to explain what he was trying to say better. "Dude. Raven says 'mutant and proud' but it seems to depend on the mutation. Magneto, Erik, thinks we're Gods and Hank's now a blue fuzzball. Alex can blow a hole in the walls the size of Washington and I can make a guys ear drums burst. We're all mutants and, thanks to you, we're all proud of who we are. It's because you've encouraged us, knowing just what to say and how to say it, that we're so comfortable in our own skins. Even Hank."

Charles blinked in surprise, unable to fully comprehend Sean's words and his implications. Sean didn't allow him to open his mouth to say anything as the younger man continued. "You've read our minds, big deal, Raven's copied my skin and Hank's ended up looking like Raven – blue skin, yellow eyes and all – and then Alex is trying to act like Erik more. We're all copying each other, but we all try to copy you because you're the one person who doesn't seem to be proud of his ability. You act like you're fine with it, like you're okay with us telling you to stay out of our heads but you're not. Are you?"

"I..." Charles couldn't find anything to say, what could he say exactly? He couldn't agree with Sean because that would make this even more complicated. But he couldn't disagree because Sean was right. Everything he'd said was true. And it made Charles wonder how he'd ever thought of Sean as a child when the young man was clearly a lot more perceptive than he ever let on.

"I've seen Erik carrying around something metal, all the time, and I've seen Alex wondering around searching for bottles of water. Raven has a thing for yellow objects and Hank likes to have wide-spaces around him. I hate it when I lose my voice because I feel like I've lost a part of myself." Sean continued as he stared directly at Charles, and a part of him was screaming at him to just shut up because the professor didn't need to be lectured by a kid. But Sean wasn't a kid and someone needed to tell Charles who wasn't Raven or Erik. And so, the duty fell to him.

"That helmet Shaw wore blocked out telepaths. If you'd worn it, it would have stopped your ability. You read minds like we all breathe, like Erik likes metal and Alex enjoys staring at fires. It's a part of you and you've accepted all of our needs, all of our abilities; even if they could potentially kill you. But we haven't done the same for you, and you've let yourself believe that we have every right to tell you to hold your breath." Sean said quietly, his voice growing softer and more sad as he continued, as he realised that they'd been starving Charles and the professor had been accepting the malnourishment without complaint. It made him feel sick.

"Sean." Charles began, his voice low and trembling slightly, like he was having trouble trying to get his words out and stop himself from crying. Sean supposed he really was trying not to cry. "I don't know... I..." He swallowed and, after a long moment of tense silence, Charles lowered his gaze to the counter top and said, softly. "I can't disagree with anything you've said."

"I know." Sean replied quietly as he slowly stood up. "And you shouldn't have to because we've had no right to hurt you when all you've done is helped us and accepted us as we are." Swallowing thickly, Sean blinked rapidly as he realised that he was beginning to cry. "Good night professor."

"Good night Sean." Charles whispered gently, his words echoing around the kitchen, and in Sean's mind as the young man realised that Charles had projected the words as well as spoken them aloud. It made Sean feel a little better about everything.

' _You should get some sleep professor, you look like an old man'_ , Sean thought at the professor who looked up at him in surprise. He held Charles' gaze as the professor smiled at him, his features softening and looking the most-natural Sean had ever seen them.

' _Thank you Sean'_ , Charles projected as Sean nodded at him and left the kitchen, silently heading towards his own bedroom and just as he began to ascend the staircase Sean heard a gentle voice whisper in his mind, _'Have a good sleep.'_

' _I will professor, I will'_ , Sean thought back and a part of him, the quiet and happy part of him that was now starting to grow, whispered to him and made him believe that he really would have a good night's sleep. He smiled as he closed his bedroom door as he realised that Charles wouldn't be projecting his nightmare's anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

Sitting in the library, ignoring the way the snow glittered on the window panes, Alex tried to calm himself down enough to stop the pulses of heat running along his hands and singing the magazine in his hand. He'd long-since given up trying to hold one of the thick volumes after he'd turned one of them to ash; and he was so going to tell the professor that he would replace it – even if it was a 17th century original novel and likely cost more than the money his family had ever amassed in their entire history.

The was little Alex could do to calm himself besides breathe deeply, but that only worked so well – which was a great pity because he seriously needed to calm down and fast. It hadn't been anyone's fault really, the reason why he was so angry was because of himself, because of what had been happening and he hadn't even been aware of it. Oh sure, he could argue that he'd had no idea – and for the most part he could get away with that – but there were times in Alex's life when he couldn't shrug off the responsibility for his actions. And now was one of those times.

He growled in frustration as he continued to try and read the magazine only to make it curl and blacken as a burst of energy shot down his hands and melted the magazine. Crying out in surprise Alex threw the magazine away from him, letting it land on the polished wooden flooring and shrivel up in a blackened mess. Staring at his hands, his emotions flitting from anger and frustration to surprise and confusion, Alex found himself wondering if his mutation was changing because last time he checked he never used to be able to melt things with his hands.

And that was how Charles found him, nearly two hours after Alex had blown away a sizeable chunk of the surrounding trees during his temper tantrum, sitting there, staring at his hands as though they could answer all his questions.

Carefully levering himself into the chair opposite the blonde boy, Charles observed how Alex seemed to be completely fascinated by his hands. "If you're looking for the answer to the universe and everything then I already know it." He said casually and Alex's head shot up as his eyes locked with Charles' own. "It's 42."

"Huh?" Alex said, realising after he said it that it was the stupidest response he'd given to date.

Charles smiled as Alex shot him a frustrated glare and Charles' face morphed into a concerned, paternal look that made Alex want to squirm in his chair. "What's wrong Alex?" Charles asked, worry and concern present in his voice and only tempered by the warmth and affection that Alex could hear loud-and-clear.

"Nothing." Alex bit out as he looked away from Charles' face and over at one of the many book cases lining the walls of the library.

"Really?" Charles said, sarcasm littering the word, and Alex repressed the urge to glare at Charles. The professor was just trying to help, and that was the problem really. "Then why is it that your body language indicates otherwise?" Charles continued, his words low but the challenge was there for Alex to hear; subtle and refined and a part of Alex found that the respect he felt for the professor increased because, to be that subtle with just words took some skill.

"It's not important." Alex tried to say, tried to reaffirm the fact that it wasn't important, that it wasn't, wasn't, that what he was so angry about meant nothing. But the words sounded forced and false even to his own ears, and judging from the professor's raised eyebrow, it sounded forced and false to Charles too.

Charles didn't say anything, just stared at Alex in absolute silence and the tension, the apprehension and the anticipation of a break-down increased with each second until Alex couldn't stand the silence anymore and he cracked.

"Sean mentioned something to me." Alex said quietly, refusing to look at Charles' face.

"Ah." Charles breathed out lightly, and Alex looked up at him because that single sound was so loaded that only an idiot wouldn't notice it. Frowning at the professor, Alex waited for the him to elaborate but it seemed that Charles had only been acknowledging his statement and not deciding to add to it. So Alex decided to explain what he meant, though he was sure the professor already knew.

"He said that we'd been unfair to you." Alex continued, watching Charles' face and his reactions closely. "He told us that we were suffocating you, drowning you, because we didn't want you to read our thoughts." And Alex's face paled as he watched Charles tense. _'Oh God'_ , he thought, _'Sean was right...'_

"Alex." Charles began but the blonde stood up abruptly and he couldn't help the instinctive flinch at the sudden movement.

"Why didn't you _tell_ _us_?" Alex asked, no begged, and Charles' face paled as Alex shook his head. "You... why... we've been _hurting you_ all this time and you-"

"No." Charles said forcefully as he stood up and moved so that he was standing directly in front of Alex. "You haven't hurt me Alex. None of you have." Charles continued, as he stared intensely at Alex. "I would not lie about that fact Alex. Yes, it has been difficult for me to not read your minds for such a length of times, but it hasn't hurt me like you think it has."

Alex stared at Charles, unable to speak as his throat constricted around any words he tried to choke out. His mind however was whizzing about, every neuron active as his thoughts screamed out. And one in particular, constantly on repeat, made him want to throw up, _'We're no better than Shaw.'_

"Alex." Charles said forcefully, anger seeping into his tone for the first time, and Alex blinked at it. "You are nothing like Shaw." He said, his words so strong and the emotion behind them so powerful that some of it seeped into Alex's bones and he felt his knees weaken at the sheer strength of it.

"I..." Alex didn't know what to say to the man standing in front of him, this man who he saw as a father. He felt like a child that Charles was constantly looking after. Alex felt loved for the first time in his life, loved by someone who genuinely cared for him and it shook him to his core because he knew that, even though Charles said it didn't, asking the professor to not read his mind had caused him a great deal pain. Maybe not physically but emotionally. They'd rejected a part of Charles when all he'd ever done was accept them for what, who, they were.

"Alex." Charles said, his voice soft and gentler now, and Alex found himself calming in a way he'd never calmed before. There was no blowing things up, no solitary confinement, no curling up with a book under the covers well into the night as he just tried to calm down. There was only silence. Silence and serenity. "You're right. Whenever any of you ask me to not read your thoughts it does make me resent my mutation, but I assure you that it has never hurt me on the scale you believe it has. Other things in my life have already done that I'm afraid."

Other things... Alex frowned, a small spark of anger growing in his gut as he couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the professor to make him already feel so lowly about his own power. As soon as the spark jumped into existence it was soothed with a gentle caress and the calm washed over him again. He found it strange and unnerving but he also found it welcoming.

"Are you calming me down?" Alex asked, his words low and quiet, calm and more level than he'd ever felt before. He studied how Charles' eyes flickered with a smatter of emotions as the professor hesitated in answering.

"Yes." Charles answered slowly. "Do you wish me to stop?" He continued as he looked at Alex, and the blonde realised with a jolt that here was his chance to absolve himself of his guilt over the past. The professor was offering him a choice between saying 'yes' and saying 'no' and he knew that Charles wouldn't judge him for it. Charles never would because he'd already concluded that he didn't have any right to control a person's thoughts or emotions, to calm them or anger them, to stop or start their minds. Even though his power meant he did, just like Alex had the right to make rings of plasma and shoot them at people who threatened him.

It was odd really. Alex and Charles weren't as different as he'd always assumed. It was true that he'd always found himself able to relate to Erik more than the professor but, when Alex stopped to think about it, he was startled by the realisation that their powers were destructive if they didn't have control. Oh, everyone else obviously had scary powers when they lost control but for the most part they were nothing compared to Alex's or Charles' abilities. If Erik lost his temper in the middle of the desert, where's there was no metal, no real harm would come of anyone – though, that wasn't strictly true because Erik had hunted Nazi's for God's sake. If people were wearing ear mufflers then their hearing would be fine. Raven and Hank were the only two who's abilities couldn't outright cause direct deaths; kind of.

But he and Charles could cause real devastation no matter where they were. If Alex was in the middle of the ocean he could do damage to the habitats of sea animals. If he was in a crowded city, he could level city blocks and kill hundreds of people. If he was in the middle of the desert he could turn the sand to glass. If Charles was in the middle of a crowded city he could stop everyone. If he was in the middle of the desert he could stop the sand from moving.

Their powers were two of the greatest and most destructive, and Alex had learnt the hard way just how deadly he could be. And it made him wonder if Charles had learnt the hard way too.

"No." Alex replied as he smiled a smooth, calm and completely relaxed smile. "You shouldn't have to ask me to read my mind. It's a part of you and we've been a bunch of idiots to try and ignore it." He continued and he couldn't help but laugh at Charles' surprised face. The professor had honestly thought he would say 'yes'.

He'd never try to suppress another person's mutation ever again; intentionally or otherwise. Least of all the mutation of Charles Xavier.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**2012:**

 

_"And today marks an iconic point in our planet's history..."_

_"All over the world today people are celebrating..."_

_"It's unbelievable, almost impossible to even think this day has arrived..."_

_"The single most important piece of legislation in the human history..."_

_"We interrupt this news broadcast with an important message from the President of the United States of America."_

_**"People of America, I am speaking to all of you today, during the most important moment in our nation's history, to remind ourselves of all that we have achieved.** _

_**Nearly fifty years ago on a Cuban beach something miraculous happened. Something that confused and unnerved my predecessors; both in government and out. Today I am speaking to all of you to explain what happened, and why it is such an important thing.** _

_**Several individuals, all born with unique and amazing gifts, rose to our nation's defence. These individuals were Mutants...** _

_**This event was the first official discovery of human beings who had abilities outside of the 'norm' and, because of the lack of foresight of some previous individuals; we labelled them a threat and grew to resent their presence within society. But we did not consider the cost to these few, these special few, who sacrificed so much to protect the sovereignty of our nation; indeed, to protect every person upon this planet.** _

_**For the last fifty years these same individuals have shown themselves to be, not only powerful, but also trustworthy and honourable. We have resented their presence, resented them for how they were born - even though we teach our children that such behaviour is unjust and unkind. But even though we have shown them contempt, they have not abandoned us at any point in time.** _

_**For every threat, for every potential danger, for every death, these 'Mutants' have stopped a half-dozen deaths, exposed two-dozen threats and protected us from danger; both international and domestic.** _

_**It is, therefore, beyond important to recognise these 'Mutants' for all that they have done; for humanity on the whole. We are all human, whether we are born with the ability to control the elements or do university-level math at aged eight.** _

_**My administration has spoken to many different Mutant representatives since we entered office, and two years worth of hard-work on both sides, and sheer stubborn will has culminated in what I consider to be the crowning achievement of America, and indeed, of the entire world.** _

_**The Mutants Right Bill acknowledges that those who are born with the 'X-gene' are human as much as any child born with it. All Mutants are to be given equal pay, the same rights and freedoms that are afforded to any other American citizen.** _

_**Too long we have behaved unjustly towards our own species, too long have we held prejudices against those individuals who do not think, act or look as we do. Too long has this been permitted to go on, by both individuals and the state.** _

_**Now, now I say, is the time when all that will change!** _

_**Now is the time when we will look at our brothers and sisters and not see differences, but similarities!** _

_**Now is the time that we will not exile a girl who can walk through walls, a boy who can create ice, or a man who can manipulate metal or read minds.** _

_**Now is the time that we will embrace all forms of differences, everything that makes us, as a species, great."** _

"It's official Erik." Charles said as he switched off the television with a flick of his hand. "We are no longer considered pariahs in any official sense." The aged telepath turned to look at his old friend who was sitting silently on the sofa next to Charles.

The years had been kind to them both, Charles still retained his youthful appearance, though he had lost his hair due to the increase in his own use of telepathy and telekinesis, and Erik was now a silver-haired, refined individual who had never quite lost his sharp gaze and quick reflexes.

"But for how long Charles?" Erik asked quietly. He turned to look at his telepathic friend and continued. "How long until the next President reverses the Bill? How long before we are hunted once more?"

"You're always so negative my friend." Charles chastised and Erik glared at him. "I understand your concerns Erik, I share them also." Charles continued softly. "However, I refuse to let myself become consumed by them. I know full-well that there will those who will use the lingering prejudice against Mutants to gain notoriety and power, but I also know that there will many who will do all they can to constrict the actions of those with less-than noble ideals."

Charles rose from the sofa and ambled over towards the large window in the study, he'd moved it all around nearly a decade ago when one of his old students had grown too excited with themselves and let lose a cannonball of water through the window - his study had been nigh unsalvageable. The new, heat-resistant, water-proof, three-inch thick, plexi-glass windows had, so far, stood up to everything the students had thrown at them. Charles was counting the days till he'd need to have new ones installed.

"Look out the window Erik." Charles beckoned quietly, not needing to turn around to know that Erik was already up and moving towards the window. "Tell me what you see?"

Erik, standing next to his shorter friend, was quiet for a long moment. "I see children who have suffered because of fear." Erik's voice was low and deep, filled with a sort of raw pain that time could never dampen. "I see Mutants who fear the outside world. I see victims of man's cruelty."

Charles sighed inwardly, would his friend never see anything but the pain and suffering in the world? The telepath hoped not. "Look closer Erik." Charles insisted firmly, his British accent echoing around the quiet study. "Look _at_ them, not what they've experienced."

"I..." Erik blinked slowly and watched the groups of children, from mixed backgrounds, from different countries, different walks-of-life, playing and laughing together. "I... see the future of our people... I see, children who are happy and safe..."

"You see that which I have always sought." Charles whispered quietly. "In every civilisation, in every eon, there has been suffering; but there has always been joy. We can choose whether to let the suffering consume us, the fear and anger, hate and prejudice. Or, we can choose to look towards the light and progress."

Charles turned slowly and pierced Erik with a sharp gaze as his mind reached out and displayed images to Erik's own mind.

"I have seen suffering..." An image of a boy being beaten appeared in Erik's mind, the feelings and sensations almost impossible to distinguish from the real world.

"But I have also seen happiness..." The same boy as before appeared in another image, this time laughing and running about in one of the school's sports-fields.

"I could have let myself become consumed by the pain..." Charles continued as he drew forth a memory from his time with Shaw making Erik's anger rise sharply, only for Charles to temper his friend and move onto another image. "It would have been easy, simpler even... but I refuse to let myself fall prey to prejudice and hate. Not when I know there is so much more out there." Charles showed Erik a relatively recent memory of the pair of them in the study, doing nothing but playing chess, laughing and joking and enjoying a scotch.

Slowly Charles slipped out of Erik's mind entirely and the German took a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as he looked deep inside of himself. Could he do what Charles had done? Could he learn to let go of his hate entirely? To look at the world through new eyes?

Opening his eyes slowly, Erik's gaze focused on the children playing on the lawn; his sharp eyes picking out of his pupils making the leaves on the ground twist themselves into complex patterns to entertain the younger children. Watching as the leaves whirled about, twisting and arcing through the air, Erik realised that he could... he could move on from the past and help ensure the future for his pupil and all those who came after her.

Charles smiled gently as he reached out a hand and threaded it through Erik's own. _'My brilliant Erik... you truly are unique my love.'_

 

* * *

 

Originally published: June 12th, 2011 -- Completed: March 27th, 2012.

Posted to AO3: June 17th, 2016.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Eins, zwei, drei." – "One, two, three" obviously.
> 
> "Bitte,Herr,tu mir nicht weh." – something like; "please, mister, don't hurt me."
> 
> "Ich werdenichtmeine Liebe.Ich helfeIhnenaberschlafen." – not exact 'cause google translate is stupid but it's something like; "I won't my dear. I will help you sleep though."
> 
> "verdammt noch mal!" – means "damn it." (however, if you don't have a full stop at the end then it's only "verdammt" which I just don't get!)


End file.
